Remote and hybrid arrangements may be among the most important perks to today’s job seekers. But there’s a potential downside: It may be harder to form work friendships when you’re virtual, and the lack of connection can contribute to loneliness.
“Loneliness in general has been increasing over the past 30 years, but the pandemic significantly intensified it,” says Michele Williams, professor of management and entrepreneurship at the University of Iowa Tippie College of Business.
The U.S. surgeon general’s office recently released a health advisory about loneliness, linking it to a variety of physical and mental health issues. For example, social isolation increases your risk of heart disease by 29% and stroke by 32%. For older adults, loneliness can increase the risk of developing dementia by about 50%. And people who report being lonely are twice as likely to develop depression.
“Our connections and social support system are some of the things that help buffer stress and anxiety,” Williams says. “When we don’t have connections to other people, those things become more prominent in our lives.”
Positive Interaction
A study by the employee performance platform BetterUp found that 52% of employees want to feel more connection at work. A Global Work Connectivity Study by the HR research firm Future Workplace found that 7% of employees say they don’t have any friends at work, and more than half have fewer than five total friends.
While you may have friendships outside of work, relationships with coworkers are important because you spend so much time at your job, says Beth Livingston, Tippie College of Business professor of management and entrepreneurship.
“The workplace provides opportunities for what research calls ‘high-quality connections,’” she says. “These don’t have to be friendship connections where you’re sharing your whole life. Instead, they are positive moments of sharing energy that happen when people are co-located and interacting on a regular basis.”
The workplace also provides opportunities for minimal relationships, which are the connections you have in passing. For example, you may be talking to someone in the cafeteria or in an elevator. “What’s so interesting is that these connections may not be high quality, but they fulfill an important role and help guard against loneliness,” Williams says.
Friendships in the workplace also provide a greater sense of balance across backgrounds, races, and generations. “People’s networks are often homogenous in terms of the types of people you know,” Livingston says. “Sometimes workplaces are equally as homogenous. But when they aren’t, they can expose you to new perspectives, which has long-term effects on increasing empathy and trust and fulfilling some of these needs for affiliation that people have.”
While friendships can sometimes distract an employee from their work, there are a lot of pluses from an organizational perspective, Williams says. “People with lots of friendly social connections at work tend to be more engaged, produce higher-quality work, and are less likely to leave, reducing the cost of hiring and training new people,” she says, citing the Future Workplace study. “For companies dealing with turnover, helping foster friendships among coworkers is important.”
Building Connections
Livingston and Williams say it’s easier to build connections with coworkers when you’re in person. For virtual teams, Williams suggests taking the first few minutes of a meeting going round-robin and getting to know each other.
Another idea is to have a weekly online social hour where you can pop on and catch up with coworkers. “I know of an organization that puts random people in a Zoom room for a little bit of time,” Williams says. “It’s similar to what would happen if you rode up in an elevator with each other. They can chat with people in other departments that they [may not] know.”
It takes strategic planning and initiative, Livingston adds, noting, “In some cases, it requires people to take an affirmative step. It’s more work, but it can level the playing field for introverted people who may have felt those watercooler moments were not for them, or for people from marginalized groups who might have been left out.”
Williams acknowledges that it’s harder to reach out when you’re feeling lonely, and she recommends that managers and coworkers make it a point to initiate connection. “Make sure there’s a feeling of belonging,” she says. “Once someone who is feeling lonely can get to a point of connection, they’ll be able to take over and continue building it themselves.”
It’s still possible to keep your professional and personal lives separate while building relationships at work. “It can feel overwhelming to have to forge bonds with colleagues,” Livingston says. “You don’t have to go in saying, ‘I want to find a best friend.’ You can go in and say, ‘I want to have a positive interaction with someone that’s based on something real and authentic about myself.’ Small positive connections are helpful and good for your well-being.”
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