Whether it’s writing a book or training for a marathon, we all have things we start and don’t finish. You could blame willpower, but the culprit may be that our brains have been reprogrammed by technology. In their new book, Swipe: The Science Behind Why We Don’t Finish What We Start, coauthors Tracy Maylett and Tim Vandehey explore how human behavior has changed thanks to our newfound impulse to “swipe.”
“We are so engaged now with our devices; they’re practically part of who we have become,” Maylett says. “We’re accustomed to programs that do what we call ‘reality switching’ in a very short time instantaneously and unconsciously.”
For example, if you’re playing a game, reading an article, or watching a video on your smartphone and you become uncomfortable or no longer like what you’re experiencing, you can switch your reality to something else with a flick of a finger. That split-second impulse has begun to invade how we process the real world—but tech doesn’t deserve all the blame.
“The ease of switching realities is because we have such an abundance of choices and ways to change our reality,” Maylett says. “Rather than stick things out, it’s much easier to impulsively say, ‘I don’t like this in the moment, and I’m done.’”
Why Swiping Can Be Dangerous
The swipe impulse can bring some consequences. “[Nobel Prize-winning scientist] Daniel Kahneman talks about two systems in our brain, with one that focuses on quick reactions,” Maylett explains. “It’s what ignites the fight-or-flight response. It’s designed specifically to get us out of danger and move us on very quickly until the other system can make a more informed response.”
The problem is that a quick reaction may be flawed. It’s not a conscious decision; it’s a reaction.
“One of the disadvantages of swiping is that it’s made with the wrong part of our brains and it’s not a thought-out decision,” Maylett says. “We need the ability to stop and say, ‘Rather than swiping away from this discomfort, let me focus on making a very conscious decision.’”
Vandehey says the primary consequence of swiping is regret. “The things that we swipe away from are things that we’d like to achieve,” he says. “They’re goals that we would like to hit. When we hit the eject button out of fear, discomfort, embarrassment, frustration, or boredom, we’re not thinking about it. After the fact, there is almost inevitably regret.”
Achieving goals often involves practice and patience. “When we swipe, we never reach that point of mastery,” Maylett says. “We become ‘masters of swipe’ rather than masters [of] what we set out to do.”
How to Overcome the Impulse
Since the urge to swipe has become hardwired into us, the authors say the first step to controlling it is understanding that it exists. The next step is to look at the underlying factors that are fueling the urge. Triggers can be disillusionment, discouragement, faulty expectations, and boredom.
“What are the patterns that we follow when we do this?” Vandehey asks. “One of the tricks for me when I reach the point where I get frustrated and will possibly stop is having a plan. It’s knowing how I will work through the discouragement, embarrassment, boredom, or lack of results.”
For example, you may need to change your timeline, take a break, or take steps that will prevent you from allowing a moment of panic and discomfort to derail your plan.
“The impulse is going to be there at least until you have enough success where you’re able to move past that point without feeling the desire to quit,” Vandehey says.
It’s important to note that tapping out is different than swiping. “If you’re in a toxic situation, such as a toxic work environment or relationship, or when something is just not right for you, it’s wonderful to move on,” Maylett says. “Tapping out is a conscious choice based on the sense of one’s welfare. Unlike the swipe, it doesn’t generally lead to regret. The person who taps out from something usually does so for a good reason.”
To understand if you’re swiping or tapping out, the authors suggest looking for a time gap that will allow you to give more thought to your decision. “Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned not to allow that time delay,” Maylett says. “We don’t want to have to wait for something to happen.”
Swiping is a universal experience, the authors say. By resisting the urge and giving yourself the gift of time, you are more apt to finish what you start and avoid the risk of future regret.
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