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Start by aiming for a discussion rather than an interrogation.

Do these 4 things to be a better interviewer and conversationalist

[Photo: Pixel-Shot/Adobe Stock]

BY Tim Mueller3 minute read

It’s truly a toss-up who dreads Q&As more after a presentation—the presenter or the audience. Conventional wisdom dictates that it should be the presenter, but experience has taught me that it’s actually the audience who deserves our sympathy.

That’s because every professional gathering that has opened the floor to audience questions throughout history has typically included one type of person. I’m talking about the individual whose so-called “question” is really just a thinly veiled attempt to monologue, self-promote, or divert attention away from the topic they were supposed to be paying attention to.

If you’ve managed to avoid them at a conference or industry event to date, consider yourself lucky. But unless you completely withdraw from social interactions, you’re bound to encounter a bad question directed at you or others sooner or later. Job interviews, news broadcasts, team meetings, restaurants, and especially podcasts are fertile grounds for poorly phrased questions and awkward, disjointed conversations.

It takes two to tango. But outside of mathematics, it’s just as true that two negatives don’t make a positive. So, if you find yourself steering a one-on-one conversation or have unexpectedly become the focal point and lubricant of a group discussion, let me offer some guidance.

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I’ve spent 12 years as a historian preparing, conducting, and analyzing hundreds of interviews on a range of topics. And no matter what your job might be, the following tips are helpful for anyone seeking relief in challenging social or professional situations, where keeping a conversation flowing smoothly is paramount.

1. Make it a conversation, not a deposition

One of my most memorable moments before an interview even began happened earlier this year. As we were setting up to interview a prominent lawyer, our interviewee playfully remarked, “Is this a deposition?”

Now, that person made the comment in jest, but it has since become the most valuable piece of advice I follow before meeting with individuals who’ve generously volunteered their time to speak with me.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tim Mueller is the founder and Managing Director of Chester & Fourth Inc., a boutique advisory firm based in Canada. He helps mission-driven organizations and leaders with their strategy and innovation needs by tapping into their most underutilized resource: their own people and institutional knowledge More


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