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Starting All Over

Today I want to look back at what I’ve done over the past few months and register a complaint with reality!  Why did I wait so long to move on?

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Today I want to look back at what I’ve done over the past few months and register a complaint with reality!  Why did I wait so long to move on?

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After months (or years, actually) of planning and preparation, we loaded up the moving truck and left the farm in Ohio for a new life on the beach in Florida.  We’d researched this move for months and when the time came to actually move, I found myself holding on to the security of. . .well, a job in an established community with colleagues and friends, programs that would not survive without me, and the peaceful tranquility of a house on the hill in the country.  I took one last look back and sighed.

For the next month or so we staying with In-laws catching up on all the projects that had been put off for years.  Once I was gone I knew it would be a while before some of the work around their house would be completed so I bit the bullet and wore myself out fixing and repairing things they were no longer able to do.  In some ways, the transition between leaving the farm and moving to Florida needed something like this to occupy my time and anxiety.  I mean, I gave up my job and a significant portion of my identity in that community and hospital.

Once we arrived in Florida and set up our house, my wife and I spent the next few months just being together with no particular agenda except each other.  Now don’t get me wrong, we love each other and still enjoy each other’s company after 30 years together, so this extended vacation was  HUGE PART of our Living The Dream reality.  And now we were getting to do what we had always wanted to do – live at the beach!  Sigh with me.  Hmmmm!?!

What was I thinking back in Ohio when I thought I couldn’t leave and things would change?  Did i really think anyone would really care?  I mean, ultimately, I would be replaced eventually, but I just couldn’t believe how good life could be with my wife when I stopped over-functioning for everyone else in the world and became re-engaged in my life with her.  I should note, here, that while my career was in high gear, my wife had been in graduate school for four years, gone as much as me, and still managed to work a few temporary jobs for academic purposes.  So this move was really a re-engagement for us both.  And after doing this for a few months I find myself asking that question over and over again, “Why did I wait so long to move on?”

Feel free to chime in and comment on this journey.  Next time I’ll continue the story with my answer to the question.  Thanks for taking time to share my story.  Jay