At their core, job offers are negotiations. This is especially true if you are highly qualified in a sought-after position. But what if the hiring manager’s negotiation skills are better than yours? Or what if they are trying to use psychology to rush you to a decision?
“You have to understand the dark side of negotiation to be able to combat it,” says René Rodriguez, author of Amplify Your Influence. “Early in the interview, an employer wants to paint a great picture of where you’ll be working. But when it comes down to the negotiation, all of a sudden you may start seeing aggressive behavior like bluffing, giving false time constraints, and even . . . emotional manipulation. These come out usually in the negotiation around money.”
The key is to recognize that there’s a person behind the tactic so you can conceptualize and intellectualize the conversation a little bit more, Rodriguez says. “The more I humanize that person, the less emotional I’m going to be about it,” he says.
Responding to Pressure
If the hiring manager is pressuring you into making a quick decision, Rodriguez suggests responding by reminding them of what’s important. For example, you can say, “You know, I’m hearing that you’ve given me a day to let you know my answer. My concern is that I’d make a hasty decision. I’m assuming if you want me working with you, you wouldn’t want me making important decisions on a whim. You’d want me really thinking through them for the best interest of your company. And that’s how I’d like to approach this as well.”
“Break down their technique,” Rodriguez says. “Remind them that the value is in waiting, not in making a whimsical decision. What you’re doing is creating a frame of reference and controlling the narrative.”
Disagreeing with a Salary
If the job offer includes a salary that doesn’t feel good in your gut, you can and should push back, Rodriguez says. “Salary negotiations begin internally first,” he says. “You have to realize that agreeing to something less than your worth is going to only build resentment for you. And you have to be willing to walk away from something that isn’t serving you.”
To negotiate a better salary, Rodriguez says you have to understand where you fall on the personality trait of agreeableness, which will have a major impact on your job pay.
“If you’re highly agreeable, you like to keep things moving forward,” he says. “You may not trip over little details, and you may agree to a lower price. Someone who isn’t as agreeable may stop the negotiation right away and demand a higher pay.”
It’s still possible for a highly agreeable person to feel comfortable negotiating a better salary. The best scenario is if you have multiple offers or opportunities. It’s easier to say, “I appreciate this offer, but I’ve got three other positions that I’m considering right now.”
Another way to combat a low salary offer is to ask for time. Rodriguez suggests saying, “I need to sit back and think about this. I’ll get back to you.”
“When you’re less agreeable, it makes them see your scarcity, and scarcity drives value up,” he explains.
You can also share your disagreement as a challenge. For example, you can say, “My challenge with that is that I’m looking to make a move up, not a lateral move. We’re really talking about a rounding error. I’d like you to consider being at X instead of Y.”
“Framing something as a challenge is a respectful way of pushing back,” Rodriguez says. “You can say no respectfully, saying, ‘I really appreciate the offer. It’s just not the kind of income that I was looking for.’ They’re negotiating too, which means they may also have some wiggle room.”
What Negotiations Say About an Employer
Negotiation tactics might also be a hint of what’s to come if you agree to take a job. Rodriguez suggests using the job offer conversation as another opportunity to interview the potential employer.
“You might sit back and admire their techniques as something to learn from,” he says. “They might also be putting you through a tough scenario because part of your job might be in negotiations. They may want to know if you can handle somebody being [an aggressive negotiator].”
If the process makes you uncomfortable, you may reconsider working for the company. You may not want to work with people who use emotional manipulation.
Knowing your goals and priorities before you receive any job offer will help you make the right decision, Rodriguez says, noting, “They’re going to help you stay focused. No matter if the other person starts to intimidate or derail you, your goals will keep you on track, so you know where you’re going. It’s a self journey first. Know your value. Then, go in assuming that they’re good people just trying to do the best thing.”
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