You’re sitting in an important meeting when you’re asked to give an update on your team. Aware that all eyes are on you, you methodically share your team’s major headlines. Just when you get to the most meaningful part—a key recent achievement—a leader jumps in and cuts you off. The point gets derailed, the moment is gone, and people forget you were even talking.
“Stolen spotlight” moments like this happen all the time.
The thing is, interruptions are more than just annoying or an inevitability that happens to everyone. Research shows women are 33% more likely to get interrupted. This dynamic also affects workers of color and LGBTQ workers who are more likely to feel excluded. One study found that women of color in computing are interrupted in meetings significantly more than white women.
Through her research, Dr. Joan Williams asserts that while white men are praised for exhibiting authority, other groups pay a price for doing so. A woman who is outspoken may be seen as abrasive. A Latina who shows conviction may be seen as overemotional. A Black person who demonstrates authority may be perceived as angry.
Just because you may be more likely to be cut off doesn’t mean you should stay quiet. There are tricks to confidently address interruptions in a productive way, while still getting your point across.
From one-to-one to group-meetings, there are techniques anyone can use to not be talked over. Here are five tactics I coach people to use to be heard:
1. Keep talking
One of the most important things you can do when you’re constantly interrupted is to continue talking. Don’t yield to the interrupter just because they’re greedily grabbing the mic or ask for permission to keep going.
Particularly with serial interrupters, it’s important to be assertive with your voice because it lets them know that you can—and will—stand your ground.
Can it be uncomfortable to confront them? Yup. But future you will be glad you did.
2. Use your body language
If you are interrupted, use the first technique and keep on talking, but as you speak, try raising the palm of your hand up to indicate that you’re not done. This simple cue can be done in a friendly, not hostile, way and tells the interrupter that you’re not done yet.
Another thing you can do is raise your speaking volume by one level. So, if you were speaking at a level-seven just before getting interrupted, go up to a level-eight to communicate, “I’m speaking and it’s time to listen.”
3. Call them out—then call them in
If interruptions are too commonplace within your team, it’s worth calling it out. The key here is to avoid using hypotheticals or innuendo. Keep it fact-based by naming specific, observable instances of interruption.
That might mean saying, “Chris, that’s the third time you’ve cut me off. I’d like to finish my point.” You can also address dominant talkers, saying something like, “We’ve heard quite a bit from Marketing, let’s hear from Finance now.” This approach gives over-talkers an opportunity to correct their behavior if they are somehow unaware of it, and keeping it in the group context makes everyone more accountable to watching for the pattern.
4. Recommend new meeting norms
In my experience coaching clients, if there’s a culture of interruption, there’s often a culture of other not-great meeting rituals such as two people dominating a meeting while others stay silent, or two people making unilateral decisions for everyone.
Consider sharing that team meetings could be improved. Then come up with some operating standards that the group can get behind. Examples might include: Ask clarifying questions, rather than making assumptions; Listen to each other and not interrupt; Balance your participation by listening and speaking; and Everyone speaks.
My clients who use meeting norms report that group expectations are more transparent and clear, it encourages belonging, and lessens team dysfunction.
5. Be an ally to others
How can you show up for others who are being interrupted? One way is to put the “mic” back in their hands when they’re cut off. You can say something like: “Hey, let’s let Deidre finish sharing her idea. I’d like to hear the rest of it.”
Or, you might put a spotlight back on someone who lost it last time. You could say, “Michelle, it would be great if you can start the round of updates today since last time, we ran out of time.”
It’s also okay if you don’t have the perfect words to say in the face of interruptions. Sometimes it’s enough to say, “The way you’re talking over people is making me uncomfortable.”
The key is to do something then and there.Interruptions aren’t just about being heard, they’re about power. The good news is that there are everyday ways we can share power with others, so that our teams can be as inclusive and innovative as possible.
This new era of work relies on everyone stepping up to make meetings respectful, safe and fair. So speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.
Selena Rezvani is a renowned leadership speaker and author of the upcoming book Quick Confidence: Be Authentic, Create Connections, and Make Bold Bets On Yourself (Wiley, May 9, 2023).
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