New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s recent announcement that she will step down as the country’s leader by February shocked many who were impressed by her steady and empathetic leadership through the pandemic. As someone who trains in empathetic leadership, I recognized in her statement something I’ve seen repeatedly over the past few years: leadership fatigue.
Ardern is hardly alone. A recent survey found that almost 70% of senior executives are seriously considering quitting for a job that better supports their well-being, and more than 80% said that improving their well-being is now more important to them than advancing at work.
Captaining the ship is never easy. In recent years, facing the rocky waters of the pandemic, political upheaval, economic crisis, supply chain disruption, and more, has made leadership especially difficult. Those leading teams through challenging times must acknowledge hardship without signaling despair, model vulnerability without appearing ineffective, and inspire hope without veering into toxic positivity. It’s no wonder many leaders are tired.
Exhaustion (and related brain fog and irritability) can have a detrimental effect on any team. A leader’s energy and engagement has an outsized impact on others, especially in times of upheaval. In the 1980s, the U.S. military first identified the concept of “grief leadership,” noting how crucial strong and compassionate leadership was in lessening the stress of devastating circumstances. And a recent report by the Workforce Institute found that managers have a greater impact on mental health than doctors or therapists—even equal to that of spouses and partners.
If we want our teams to have the resilience and energy to face challenges, it’s essential that leaders preserve their own resilience and energy, as well.
Here are some ideas.
1. Have a daily reset ritual
As with so many things, when it comes to burnout, the best defense is a good offense. It’s important to take steps to protect your mental and physical health. One way to do that is to commit to a daily reset—something you do every day that gives you energy and helps you to stay even-keeled. I do five minutes of yoga and meditation every morning. Perhaps for you it’s walking your dog, drawing over your morning coffee, or a prayer before bed. The key is to do something that nourishes you and to do it consistently.
2. Share the emotional load
Bottling up emotions can have a negative effect on mental and physical health, relationships, and performance. For leaders in particular, it can be difficult to find people to talk to about work challenges. Try to name five people you can call on when you’re struggling, and commit to reaching out when you’re having a hard day. Meet someone for coffee or call a friend. Don’t underestimate the benefits of therapy; a professional may be the best support to help you work through issues quickly and effectively.
3. Set boundaries
The reality is that protecting your energy is your job alone. No one else can do it for you. If a coworker calls you repeatedly throughout the day, it’s not their job to recognize your annoyance and stop. It’s up to you to notice your negative reaction, identify the cause, take the steps to protect yourself. Ask them to email their questions, turn on “do not disturb” for a few hours, or walk them through how to answer questions on their own.
I once asked volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon how he handled bad behavior on his team. He said, “the behavior you get is what you’ll endure.” We teach people how to treat us—both what we’ll put up with and what we won’t.
4. Know your warning signs
One leader said to me recently, “I thought I was fine. I was reading the news and was aware of everything going on, but I didn’t think it was affecting me. Then one day I was on a conference call with my team and started screaming at them. I totally lost it.”
It’s often said that the universe whispers first, then it shouts. There are usually warning signs that you are beginning to burn out, and when those signals are missed, they get louder until they’re impossible to ignore. The challenge is that the warning signs of burnout can be different for different people. Perhaps for you it’s a sore throat, trouble falling asleep, or a sharper edge to your sarcasm. It’s important to recognize your warning signs and recommit to self-care when they show up—before they blow up.
5. Connect with your greater purpose
You may have heard that parable about a traveler who comes upon three people working. He asks each of them, “What are you doing?” The first answers, “busting up rocks.” The second says, “making a living.” The third responds, “building a cathedral.”
Try to hold on to the reason that you chose your current field and position. What is your reason?
In his book Give and Take, Adam Grant tells the story of a campus fundraising center where students were exhausted and disengaged due to perpetual hang-ups and refusals. Then they were shown a video of a student who had benefited from a scholarship due to donations like the ones they were soliciting. This simple step gave call center employees more energy to tackle calls, and donations soared. Reconnecting with the larger purpose of your work can provide you with renewed energy.
If you’ve managed to steer your team through the past few years with compassion and skill, it’s no surprise that you’re feeling burned out and exhausted. Focusing on your own health and development with the same vigor you’ve used to support others can help you continue to lead well and thrive while doing so.
Katharine Manning is the author of The Empathetic Workplace: Five Steps to a Compassionate, Calm, and Confident Response to Trauma on the Job. She has worked on issues of trauma and victimization for more than 25 years and currently supports Ketchum’s Trauma-Informed Consultancy, where she uses her expertise to help clients prepare for and respond to today’s challenges.
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