It was bound to happen at some point, but few probably expected the person to do it would be such a public figure. The notorious Zoom-dick incident took place last fall nonetheless, turning vaunted legal mind Jeffrey Toobin into a verb, and striking fear into the hearts of remote workers the world over.
After broadcasting his own onanism to a full gallery of colleagues at The New Yorker, Toobin was fired from the magazine and put on leave as an on-air correspondent for CNN. His was a flagrant violation of workplace standards, but Toobin had a minor league of defenders. Now, seven and a half months later, CNN has invited the disgraced correspondent back on air.
On Thursday, just above a chyron reading, “JEFFREY TOOBIN APOLOGIZES FOR ‘EMBARRASSINGLY STUPID MISTAKE,'” the author pleaded his case to the public. Although CNN anchor Alisyn Camerota was the only one who could actually respond to him at the time, many on Twitter did so remotely as well.
Glad CNN has brought back Zoom masturbator and legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, the only legal analyst out there.
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) June 10, 2021
Jeffrey Toobin is sorry for the zoom dick, and in related news my unemployed friends in journalism (who have never once masturbated in front of their colleagues!!) are still unemployed https://t.co/lV2KYhRvkL
— Leah Feiger (@LeahFeiger) June 10, 2021
Dear, @CNN not only is it gross to have disgraced Zoom masturbator Jeffrey Toobin BACK (and so soon!) as your legal analyst (don't forget his sexual assault allegations that were ignored years ago https://t.co/uaLoe7z48A) you made a woman @AlisynCamerota talk to him about this? pic.twitter.com/HKaPJfDYNi
— JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) June 10, 2021
A lot of folks used Toobin’s apparent second chance as a rebuke to complaints about the excesses of cancel culture.
"white male" is "cancel culture" kryptonite https://t.co/WavukrW2xR
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) June 10, 2021
lmfao imagine thinking anyone has ever been truly cancelled https://t.co/lFOxLEl00e
— zeddy (@Zeddary) June 10, 2021
I was told the scourge of cancel culture left lasting consequence https://t.co/t25M8sl45X
— Kevin Gannon (@TheTattooedProf) June 10, 2021
A lot of other people simply had jokes to share.
is the hog out yet https://t.co/Pbnj4kvlsq
— Russ Bengtson (@russbengtson) June 10, 2021
Not appearing via Zoom, I hope? https://t.co/YqHMNCE8tO
— Charlotte Clymer ????️???? (@cmclymer) June 10, 2021
I don't know about this but I guess someone like Toobin can still come in handy. https://t.co/DkknVdljDz
— Gerald Pevert (@gr8tvaluebiggie) June 10, 2021
comedians, we have a gift. From now on, every CNN clip of @JeffreyToobin MUST be quote-tweeted with a dick joke, until he is yanked off the network.
— Moderna Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) June 10, 2021
Toobin’s return even prompted a critique from Donald Trump Jr. (although he seems to be forgetting Fox News’s history of protecting sexual abusers until it was absolutely untenable).
Imagine any other network putting Jeffrey Toobin back on air after being caught masturbating on a corporate zoom call?
Yea, me neither, but CNN is totally good with it. I guess their prospects for talent are as bad as their ratings.
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) June 11, 2021
The network has made it clear that it considers standing up for Palestinians and putting down Native Americans fireable offenses, while providing council to an embattled politician and masturbating on camera during a work meeting aren’t