You know that emotional intelligence is an essential skill in the workplace, but there is another skill that’s as crucial for success in life and at work. I’m talking about social intelligence, the ability to understand (and connect) with others.
Knowing how social intelligence breaks down into its parts is only the first step in raising your social IQ above where it is today. Actually changing behaviors, especially your own, is a monumental undertaking. But there are steps you can take to do that. You can make serious progress in seven days by engaging in a systematic process where you practice self-awareness and engage in some key behaviors that define social intelligence.
If you can get your head around these concepts in the first seven days, chances are you’ll notice a change in the way people react to you. More importantly, you’ll also see a difference in the way you respond to other people and the way that makes you feel.
Day 1: Start using your senses more deliberately
Begin the practice of using your senses instead of relying on autopilot when you are moving through the day. For instance, when you drive to work, you may not notice the sights along the way. Try to pay close attention next time, whether you’re heading to work in a car or the subway.
Do this with deliberation for the next seven days and notice how it changes your experience. For the first five of these days, concentrate on one sense each day: sound, smell, touch, taste, or sight. Start over again on day 6.
The more you consciously use your senses, the more situational awareness you will gain. Soon you’ll start noticing things that previously escaped you. Bring this skill with you when you arrive at work, and you’ll already have improved your social intelligence by being more aware of the different vibes in your office. You should experience an improved ability to respond and communicate appropriately and effectively.
Day 2: Critically assess your strengths and weaknesses
Now is the time to take stock of the good, the bad, and the ugly in yourself. Why? Because to raise your social IQ, you have to know how you stack up against everyone else. Being aware of your strengths not only gives you confidence; it also allows you to offer your strengths to others. And what about your liabilities? That’s the stuff you’ll want to limit—such as, for example, your tendency to overshare at the office water cooler.