Until last year, I’d never met a physical challenge that I couldn’t push through—whether it be lack of sleep, hangover, or illness. I could always muster the will to keep plugging along. But sometime in the last year, I started experiencing chronic pain, fatigue, and brain fog.
There were days when sitting at my desk and typing was just too much. Even if I could force myself to be in my office, my brain would be so cloudy that I could barely complete a single work-related thought.
Earlier this year, I was finally diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis—a form of arthritis that attacks the back and other joints in the body. As a counselor who preaches self-kindness and the importance of acknowledging our emotions, the shame and self-criticism that overwhelmed me felt like a double whammy.
I could no longer choose to simply push through. I needed to find new coping skills, pinpoint new criteria for what it meant to be productive, and tailor-make new working routines. Here are some of the strategies that have worked for me.
1. Being kind to myself
I spent the first few months after my diagnosis beating myself up. I was still operating under my old motto of “I can push through anything.” Now, I’m slowly learning to embrace my condition rather than rail against it. When uncomfortable feelings like sadness, disappointment, anger, and hopelessness come up for me, I take a moment to acknowledge its presence instead of pushing those feelings away.
One of the most vexing challenges of this condition (and most chronic pain conditions) is finding the fine line between underdoing (which causes joint pain) and overdoing (which also causes joint pain). Learning to read my body within these constraints has gifted me a new appreciation for it, which is something I took for granted for too many years. Now instead of treating it like an enemy that I need to overcome, I treat it like a friend. I’m not allowed to take advantage of it, and I need to be honest when I’m communicating with it.
2. Taking regular breaks
Taking regular breaks every hour has been a crucial act in staying productive and prevents me from paying the price of pain or exhaustion later. Instead of plugging away at my desk for hours and getting lost on social media, I set a timer on my computer to remind me to physically remove myself from the screen. I stretch and connect with my dog or family.