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Disney reveals depressing slate of vaguely described event movies

If the sight of titles like Untitled Disney Live Action IV doesn’t get you pumped, will anything?

Disney reveals depressing slate of vaguely described event movies
[Photo: courtesy of Walt Disney Studios]

Picture where you’ll be in 2027: Perched in your moon-yurt, slurping down Soylent 4.0, and watching Avatar 5 on a 2160p 6K UHD iEye.

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Perhaps you haven’t thought that far ahead yet, but worry not: the folks at Disney have.

The monolithic entertainment organization, which recently acquired nominally less-enormous 21st Century Fox, has just announced the slate of tentpole films it will be ramming into the collective conscience over the next eight years. At nearly 65 films, the list includes offerings from not only Disney and Fox but Marvel, Pixar, and Lucasfilm. Among the revelations are the fact that the first lukewarm-dishwaterishly anticipated sequel to Avatar has been delayed (again) until 2021.

The list starts off only a little depressing, with some evocative mystery titles like Underwater and Ron’s Gone Wrong spread among more familiar titles like the Bob’s Burgers movie and the perspective-shifting 101 Dalmations reboot, Cruella. Okay! Not a bad start! Where things get more murky is in the long-range planning that shows how far ahead these things are decided, and just how many live-action Disney movies the company is going to foist upon us. (Three in 2021 alone!)

Whether Disney knows for sure which movie it will release during Thanksgiving weekend of 2022 and just wants to keep it under wraps, or has earmarked “Untitled Disney Animation 11/23/22” as a placeholder, doesn’t matter. Seeing the eight-year plan laid out so bluntly pierces the veil of Maya to reveal popular art as little blips flashing along the Nasdaq index. (Or at least more so than usual.)

The best piece of news from Disney today is that after Episode IX drops in December, the Star Wars series will be taking a break through December 2022. It seems someone at Lucasfilm learned about the danger of over-saturating the market after Solo fell relatively flat, coming too hot on the heels of Episode VIII. Maybe whoever at Disney seems to have accidentally nudged the lever on the Untitled Live Action machine to warp speed should take some notes.

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