Peloton is an exercise startup that just wants us all to live our best lives. Cool.
What the company thinks those best lives look like, however, is apparently straight out of a Manhattan-set romantic comedy sponsored by Goop.
This fact did not escape a Twitterer who goes by the handle @ClueHeywood, and who dedicated a long thread to mocking the company’s luxury-drenched advertising campaign.
Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
For the uninitiated, Peloton’s primary product is a high-tech exercise bike from which users can stream spin classes from the company’s fitness studio in real time. For anyone with at least $2,245 burning a hole in their presumed Rick Owens-designed pockets, it is the only way to get in shape in time for weekend Hamptons party season. As the above mentioned Twitter thread demonstrates, it’s not every day you see a marketing campaign devoted to a class of consumer who can easily afford such items–or at least it’s not every day you see one that doesn’t involve a Lexus with a red bow wrapped around it.
I took my Peloton bike to Europe and used it on the balcony of our $2,000/night Airbnb and honestly I felt like I was flying over London, you should try it pic.twitter.com/sVjdO78MRV
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
As the thread goes on, @ClueHeywood begins to speculate on more specific details about the lifestyle of a typical Peloton-owner–a fantastically wealthy individual who also happens to be into home fitness.
Sometimes I’ll move the Peloton bike into our gallery so I can spend time with my half gay husband while he reads Architectural Digest wearing combat boots pic.twitter.com/jdBWowR4z3
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small. Unfortunately space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage. pic.twitter.com/Hqa1kVgWDj
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
It all culminates in a final entry that includes a blueprint and some drama around making that all-important architectural decision: where to put the Peleton.
Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à-terre. They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn’t own a Peloton.
We fired him. pic.twitter.com/p02yYLbE50
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
To be fair, Peloton does now offer subscriptions to its classes without owning Peloton’s equipment, and it has long offered financing for its machines. But its advertising doesn’t quite communicate that.
Peloton has grown into a hot startup by asking its customers to feel the burn, but now it seems they are the ones feeling the burn. We’ll be anxiously watching the company’s Twitter to see if they react to the popular thread.