What: An illuminating snippet from Stephen Colbert’s Monday night monologue.
Who: Stephen Colbert
Why we care: As you may have heard by now, an exciting job opportunity has recently become available at the White House. With perpetually exasperated Chief of Staff John Kelly transitioning into doing his forehead slapping from home, the White House needs new a new warm body to almost kind of keep the president on track some of the time. As a reality TV vet, Trump should not have been surprised by hoped-for Kelly replacement Rick Ayers shooting down his offer–plot twist!–but according to the New York Times, he was indeed blindsided by the rebuke and left without a Plan B. On last night’s Late Show, however, Stephen Colbert announced an unconventional pick for the job: himself.
Although it may sound like a delusion of grandeur or a stab at random humor, Colbert is only nominating himself for the position to prove an important point.
“Will I be able to control the president? No. Will we fight? Yeah. But will I bring a steady hand to a tumultuous West Wing? Also no,” Colbert says. “But no one could. Who cares?”
He’s absolutely right. At this point, it has become clear that Trump is constitutionally incapable of sticking to the script. Under the watch of much-touted Adult in the Room John Kelly, he enacted his family separation policy, tweeted an endless string of juvenile taunting, looked the other way when a journalist who was a U.S. citizen appeared to be murdered under the direction of the Saudi prince, and any other number of daily indignities we’ve all endured. And that’s with a retired Marine Corps general in charge! Imagine Trump settling gently under the thumb of someone less familiar with the rigors of military-style discipline. Whoever gets the job is destined for failure, so it might as well be Colbert–if for no other reason than at least it would be briefly funny.
Have a look at Colbert’s pitch below, which begins around the 4:30 mark.