The more stress a woman feels, the more overwhelmed she becomes. There are too many things for her to do before she can relax. The more exhausted she feels, the more urgent it becomes for her to get everything done.
In a woman’s brain there will always be more to do. That’s why she finds it inconceivable that a man can effortlessly sit in front of the TV and not think about things. It has been said that the nicest words of love a woman can hear her man say is, “Shall I clean the house?” When the man in her life offers to help around the house even the small things he does mean a lot to her.
When a woman allows herself to undertake activities that create oxytocin, her stress levels drop, her sense of being overwhelmed disappears, and her energy returns. Oxytocin is a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland that seems to be involved in reproductive behavior in both men and women, and apparently triggers “caring” behavior. Oxytocin is also the hormone which allows contractions of the womb during pregnancy and labor. When women have plenty of energy, they take great pleasure from their responsibilities. Creating a lifestyle and diet that sustains unending energy by producing plenty of oxytocin is key to lower stress levels.
A woman’s oxytocin levels fluctuate and must be replenished…often by giving to yourself while reducing your giving to others. Here are some activities a woman can engage in to increase oxytocin by treating herself: getting a massage, her hair done, a manicure/pedicure, a facial, a night out with her girlfriends, a friendly telephone conversation, exercising or meditate while walking, scheduling a walk and talk with a friend, working out with a personal trainer, taking a yoga class, taking a dancing class, listening to music, singing in the shower, plant fragrant flowers in the garden, buy fresh-cut flowers, go to a farmer’s market, hold a baby, read a good book, hire a handyman, plan special occasions to look forward to, etc.
Creating a more holistic paradigm of balance to your work and home life will help you from thinking you are running between compartments. This new dynamic equilibrium is meant to allow all the parts of life to work synergistically in a highly interrelated whole. Life balance isn’t an “either/or” but an “and.”
The roles you play at home and work must be in concert…not requiring you to play different roles. Although there are distinct competencies attached to each role, it is to your advantage to create a powerful synergy among all roles.
This inter-role synergy saves incredible problem-solving time and energy. Understanding that you are accepting personal responsibility for your own life helps you transcend the either/or categorical thinking of others. Research tells us that the so-called feminine attributes (well exercised in parenting) are the critical capacities required to effectively manage in the cross-generational cultures of today’s organizations.
In creating this synergistic world of work life and personal life takes some focused self-learning. However, self-learning is not doing it alone without a support system. Get yourself a mentor or coach to help you along your journey to effectively manage your time and live a well-balanced and passionate life.