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T-R-U-M-P! What’s That Spell?

Thinking about going back to school, but don’t want to deal with all those pesky exams? Looking for a school that will teach you about the real world? Then Trump University is the place for you!

Thinking about going back to school, but don’t want to deal with all those pesky exams? Looking for a school that will teach you about the real world? Then Trump University is the place for you!

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Established last May on the principle of “learn by doing,” Trump University is an online operation with courses in marketing, real estate and entrepreneurship. For as little as $300, you could be rubbing virtual elbows with TU’s faculty, including professors from Columbia, Dartmouth, Northwestern and the University of Tennessee. (No joke.) And don’t forget the Donald himself! Trump teaches online seminars, writes a TU blog and responds to student queries. And, rest assured, even if you can’t spot the Big D in class, there’s a little bit of him everywhere you turn at TU; Says the University’s site, “We have distilled and integrated the insights, experiences, and practical know-how of Donald Trump himself.”

Hey, TU knows that going to class at a “normal” university isn’t for everyone. Says TU’s Chief Learning Officer, Roger Schank, “Professors don’t actually care about education.” [Except TU’s professors, of course!] “Students aren’t really learning and professors aren’t really teaching, but the job is so cushy, no professor is interested in changing it.” Enter Trump U! “Each online course,” says the University site, “includes assignments that consist of work that a real professional would do.” But don’t get overwhelmed! The bar is never set too high at TU. “If you are unable to meet a given deadline, you may skip the feedback,” says the site, “and progress through the course.” Just like the real world! (Note: Real world learning doesn’t result in real credits, degrees or diplomas.)

Don’t wait! Start today and you can enroll in a one- or two-week online course, complete with “audio-video home study programs,” “live events” and a vibrant online community. Not sure if you’ve got the time? Try the “weekend warrior” option – or go straight to the top, with the MBA in a day! Then, head on over to the TU campus shop and show your Trumpish pride with an official university t-shirt, hat or sweatshirt!

Hey, after all, why shouldn’t education be easy? Says Trump himself, “Everything else I do succeeds, so why not?”

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