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Stop YELLING

Hi Holly. A long overdue response to your comment about the yelling supervisor. In short, you CAN NOT love your job while being yelled at. In fact, research shows that the relationship you have with your manager not only determines your level of job satisfaction, but also the length of your stay in an organization.

Hi Holly. A long overdue response to your comment about the yelling supervisor. In short, you CAN NOT love your job while being yelled at. In fact, research shows that the relationship you have with your manager not only determines your level of job satisfaction, but also the length of your stay in an organization.

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Check out both Gallup and the Saratoga Institute for numerous studies about job satisfaction and the boss.

So, what to do about it. Basically you can alter, accept or avoid. Alter means to try to change the yelling behavior of this boss. Tell her you’d be more effective and definitely happier if she didn’t yell at you. Who knows, she might try to change. Many people take this brave step only after they have a “plan B” — like a potential new job. Depending on the boss, this could be a very smart strategy.

You might also alter your own behavior. Don’t yell back at her. Try a very calm reaction to her outburst and see what happens. Also, catch her doing it right and praise any appropriate behaviors you see (are there any?).

The accept approach is to identify everything you like about your boss and everything you don’t. On balance, is she O.K.? If yes, than accept her, just as she is (warts and all) and create your own workarounds to her behavior.

Avoid is exactly what you’re already doing. I know people who’ve successfully avoided a jerk at work for months — and finally the jerk moved on. Avoiding your boss is oh-so-challenging though. I do know one manager who managed to get transferred to the west coast just to avoid his east coast-stationed manager.

Watch out. If your boss is truly toxic, any of these strategies could backfire or fizzle. Meanwhile, they can cause stress and illness. Start looking (in your own organization first) for a better boss. They’re out there!

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