Shades of Martin Seligman’s learned optimism and the work of Peter Naylor and Claire Crittenden, I recently received a forward of an email from Sherwood Partners‘ emotional intelligence expert Mark Goulston:
When someone says or does something that frustrates you, think of the first thing you want to say, take a deep breath — and don’t say it. Think of the second thing you want to say, take a deep breath — and don’t say that. Then think of the third thing you want to say and do say that. Why? Because your first statement is about fighting back, your second is about getting into a competition, but your third is about looking for a solution.
While slightly simple and silly in the whole “count to 10” department, I think the categorization of responses is interesting — and useful.