CEO Dad’s Tuesday Tirade…
The NFL playoffs are in full swing, and there’s nothing like watching a bunch of very large men get into altercations over some pigskin to inspire new ideas. So, this morning at breakfast I unveiled to my family a new spirit of cooperation: I gave a Power Point presentation on how we could benefit from treating our work/life balance like a football game.
For a start, the home will be referred to as “the gridiron.” This will establish that, as a family, we need to get out there and fight if we’re going to achieve success.
Flags: each member of the family is allowed to throw down yellow penalty flags whenever another member exhibits behavior that offends their sensibilities. These are personal fouls, and are punishable by a 15-yard “get out of my face” penalty. They include:
1. Clipping: When a family member is so eager to reprimand another for a work/life violation that they do not let them finish their sentence.
2. Holding: Preventing someone from getting to an appointment by hiding the car keys.
3. Offside: A “line of scrimmage” will be set up between the pantry and the garage, and it cannot be crossed until I come up with a good enough reason why I’m getting into the car and leaving. (“Because I want to play with my GPS,” for example, is not a valid notion.)
A “turnover” will be said to have occurred when a family member successfully busts their work-addicted loved one on his utterly spurious logic for ruining their quality of life. Not to be confused with a “sack,” in which it’s all over before you can even get a word in edgewise.
“Out of bounds” shall be declared whenever anyone steps over the imaginary boundary separating constructive criticism from comments like “reality T.V. just called—they want their stupid back.”
And finally, a “Touchdown” happens when quality time together is achieved through running a long distance, knocking down many tempting obstacles (phone conference, out-of-town business meeting, the Internet) and crossing into the “end zone” of familial love and respect. Hopefully, this will become a frequent enough occurrence that the urge to do a finger-pointing dance whenever you manage to get it right will eventually fade away.