On this date in the year 1503 (for you younger readers, waaaaay before computer games), the great philosopher and predictor Nostradamus (real name Michel de Nostre-Dam) was born. Revered by soothsayers and writers for the Weekly World News alike, this fellow seemed to have an uncanny knack for saying things hundreds of years ago that could handily be interpreted as applicable to this very day and age. And now, on the anniversary of his birth, researchers (please, don’t ask me for details) have uncovered several pages of parchment which reveal his prescient nature when it came to work/life balance, too. Here are few choice entries in ole Nostre-Dam’s Day Planner:
–In approximately five thousand moons, there will be visited upon the earth a great plague known as “Power Point.” Mankind could well waste many, many hours compiling information for the morning of a Monday, only to basically stand there in front of their so-called “presentation” simply reading aloud the words they spent all weekend picking the right font for. Yay, verily the graphics will not help much, either.
–For in the far future, how far I cannot predict with accuracy, mankind will be so incapable of spontaneity with their offspring that they will be forced to schedule something called “play dates.”
–Beware, for a square box capable of providing visual stimuli waits in the future to create a time suck such as the world has never known. It will begin simply enough, with blurry black and white images of cross-dressing comedians, but will soon escalate into a product capable of being recorded for posterity and even disseminated on other, smaller boxes that will be at our workstations and on tiny devices we will hold in our hands. They laugh at me when I say that several million citizens will be drawn to a moving picture of a piano-playing cat, but I see it, friends, as clearly as I see the rise and fall of trans-fatty acids.
–But for all the chaos created by the myriad frightening things that will come, many wise people will provide in-house child-care within the very confines of the workplace itself. And these people shall be declared forward-thinking and good.
As you can see, that Nostradamus was way ahead of his time. If any of you have stumbled upon other soothsayers out there who made some dead-on predictions about our fun-filled 21st Century, feel free to let me know.