Today is the birth anniversary of Allan Sherman, the guy who introduced my generation to the song parody. For those of you a little younger, he was the Weird Al Yankovic of your parents’ generation. For those of you too young to remember Weird Al Yankovic…you are a frightening reminder of the passage of time and I hate you.
Those of us who do recall Mr. Sherman still think of “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah” every time we hear Ponchielli’s “Dance of the Hours” during the local classical music station’s fund drives. (And there’s a whole generation behind me who associates that same music with “Fantasia,” so they probably think I sound like a young whippersnapper now.) In any case, I felt it only proper to honor Allan Sherman on his birthday, and compose a few work/life parodies for your perusal. Get out your tuning fork and your kazoo if you are so inspired.
I WILL UNWIND (to the tune of “I Will Survive”)
First I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I would be confused without my nine to five
But then my wife explained to me that if we don’t take a break
Then the next time she would see me it would be at my own wake
So now I’m gone, I’m out the door
I took a week off, and I’m not working anymore
Yes, I’m the one who can’t sit still for minute one
But gosh darn it I will do it, I will lie down in the sun
And close my mind
I will unwind
Oh, as long as I know how to rest I might even recline
I’ve got all this week ahead
If it kills me I’ll stay in bed
I will unwind!
I will unwind! Hey, hey….
IMAGINE (to the tune of, uh, “Imagine”)
Imagine there’s no deadlines
It’s easy if you try
No boss above us
To yell and make us cry
Imagine all the people
Driving fifty-five…I, I, I….
Is no longer required
No e-mails in your in-box
You go home when you’re tired
Imagine no one caring
About that Power Point….you, hoo-hoo
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m working on a hunch
I think some day you’ll join us
And the world will be at lunch
And finally, as a tribute to Allan Sherman, here’s Ponchielli (or “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah”)
Hello daughter, lovely daughter
Do you still like Harry Potter?
Or is Sponge Bob to your liking?
Maybe Dora the Explorer and her hiking.
See the point is, I’ve forgotten
As a parent, I am rotten
Presentations, dinner meetings
I am never home and I deserve some beatings
But I promise, if you’ll let me
I’ll make sure you don’t forget me
Cause I love you and I won’t spoil it
I have flushed my phone and Bluetooth down the toilet!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, don’t forget to tip the waitresses, and feel free to submit a song of your own!