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Work/Life: Halloween Costumes for the Work/Life Challenged

CEO Dad’s Tuesday Tirade…. Okay, ghosts and goblins, it’s Halloween, and the pressure is on to have the most original costume at your workplace. Well, why go as Jack Sparrow or Elvira or Spiderman when you can make a real statement with my new line of Halloween fashions that are not only fun, but will get your fellow party guests thinking at the same time?

CEO Dad’s Tuesday Tirade….

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Okay, ghosts and goblins, it’s Halloween, and the pressure is on to have the most original costume at your workplace. Well, why go as Jack Sparrow or Elvira or Spiderman when you can make a real statement with my new line of Halloween fashions that are not only fun, but will get your fellow party guests thinking at the same time?

THE BLACKBERRY – Your head is where the display would be, and your arms stick out the sides of this detailed replica of the world’s most addictive PDA. The costume is wired to receive text messages at a rate of one every 38 seconds, forcing you to keep interrupting whoever you are talking to in order to text back. Eventually, you become fed up and, while everybody watches, you strip off your Blackberry (make sure to be wearing something underneath) and throw it to the ground, stomping on it with your heel. You will not be surprised when the room erupts in cheers. Note: Do not do this with the IPhone costume. It’s too expensive to destroy.

THE DALAI LAMA – It’s a simple saffron robe, a shaved head and a pair of 1980’s glasses, but just let anyone try to engage you in a trivial conversation about work! It’s not going to happen. Before you know it, crowds will gather with an urge to discuss who we are, why we’re here and where we are going, which is a far cry from complaints about people who don’t replace the toner.

THE DEEPAK CHOPRA – Similar to the above, with civilian clothes, hair and no glasses. The real difference is that if you play your cards right, you could stage your own PBS fund drive and make a lot of money selling your audio books for ten times what they actually go for.

THE AIRBUS A380 – You’ll certainly be eye-catching as you arrive dressed as an aircraft capable of holding over 400 passengers and featuring 12 private luxury suites. However, you will soon notice that nobody cares, and, as you stand alone, friendless off to one side of the party, you will serve as a reminder about corporate excesses and the need to simplify our lives.

Those are just a few of the unique costumes you could amaze and delight your colleagues with this Halloween. Any other ideas, feel free to hold forth.

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