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You Want Fries With That Work/Life?

CEO Dad’s Tuesday Tirade…. The Associated Press revealed over the weekend that McDonald’s, a company that had been suffering a public image slump and decreasing sales, has, over the past few years achieved a major comeback.

CEO Dad’s Tuesday Tirade….

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The Associated Press revealed over the weekend that McDonald’s, a company that had been suffering a public image slump and decreasing sales, has, over the past few years achieved a major comeback.

The restaurant chain has successfully repositioned itself, offering such fare as salads and yogurt parfaits to let people know they now have options when choosing Mickey D’s. One marketing analyst said that McDonald’s has done a good job of adding healthier products to its menu without straying too far from its burgers-and-fries roots.

And that, dear friends, is a metaphor for life. What we all need to do is start exploring healthier options while not straying too far from our roots.

Picture your work/life balance issues as a fast food restaurant. You wait in line, staring up at the big, well-lit menu, deciding what to get. A cheery associate in a paper hat chirps, “Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, may I take your order?” You think out loud. Let’s see, there’s the Big Worker, the one with two all-work patties, special martyrdom sauce, extra hours and, ultimately, a big pickle. With a side of hands-free Bluetooth and a large Choke. But you know, you’ve been ordering that for years, and maybe it’s clogging up, if not your arteries, certainly your soul. How about a McCalm shake instead? And that Tossed Priorities Salad looks yummy. It’s got all your basic balance food groups: a few deep breaths, turning off the phone, scheduling alone time with your spouse, taking a walk for a change, and it’s all served on a bed of bumping the supposedly life-or-death Power Point nonsense until tomorrow. For dessert, of course, there’s Hot Humble Pie, but please don’t sue us if you get burned.

And once you’ve ordered off the new menu, you’ll be ready to get something for the kids. Why not try the Happiest Meal, which features a more emotionally present parent, one mandatory attendance at a school function, and a family DVD night, plus a special surprise: it won’t contain any cheap plastic toy tie-in from a big animated movie that’s trying to get your kids to eat something bad for them.

And the only thing your new, healthier work/life menu will NOT have is a drive-up window. No way are you multi-tasking on our watch.

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So, if you were a fast food item, what would you be? (And it’s not enough to simply have zero trans-fat. That is so 2006.)

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