So, how did Take Our Daughters and Sons To Work Day go for everybody? It was yesterday, as I’m sure you know, and I’m here to give a full report on the proceedings. First of all, I’d been so out of touch, I didn’t know the day had been amended to include sons. I don’t have a son, but being the child of an overachieving CEO, I tried desperately to score one in twenty-four hours, just so I could fulfill the new requirements. Unfortunately, I do not have the kind of pull that Madonna or Angelina Jolie has. Nor do I look as good with a plunging neckline. And I should know, because I was roundly criticized for the outfit I wore on “Take Your Inner Cross Dresser To Work Day” back in ’03.
Well, my oldest daughter, who is now ten, had gone to several previous Take Our Daughters to Work Days with me, and she said she needed a break. Although she had fun, she said being asked to fire a few of the lesser-performing employees was not what she was expecting. She also had a hard time with constantly saying “tell them I’m in a meeting.” So, this year, I took my three-year old in, and we both learned a lot. I showed her how to use the phone, and now several of my more important clients have been told to “hold on, poopy-head.” She also promoted Dora The Explorer to the position of offfice manager, so there wasn’t much I could do to stop the existing office manager from taking the rest of the day off so that my little girl’s illusions wouldn’t have to be shattered.
The staff lunch meeting at Chuck E. Cheese’s went better than expected. It was something to see the Executive Vice President in Charge of Public Relations and Overseas Development take a header into a vat of rubber balls. And the guy in the mouse mascot outfit somehow ended up networking his way into a position with Human Resources. (Although I think it may have something to do with standing on a street corner and holding a sign shaped like an arrow.) Things got a little messy when I had to explain to my dear daughter that toner is not something we play with, and honestly I don’t know how she figured out what “Select All” and “Delete” meant on so many of the office computers. But, she got a real sense of what her father does to bring home the bacon. “Wow, Daddy,” she said, “You really don’t do anything!” Like they say, it’s funny because it’s true