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Several Good Reasons to Take a Day Off

The irreverent organization Wellcat.Com has named today, March 26, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. Those of us who strive for Work-Life Balance are always looking for a reason to take the day off from work, so here are some of my ideas for potential holidays. If you’re already at work, I suggest suddenly remembering that you and your loved ones celebrate, say, National Plankton Appreciation Day, and get your butt home.

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Stove Day – As celebrated by our nation’s early log cabin settlers, this is a day set aside to remember our nation’s great pot-bellied stoves, and their contribution to both nutrition and capitalism.

E.A. Callahan Day – A day to pause and reflect on the man who, in 1867, invented the stock ticker.

I Don’t Have Tivo Day – In which those without Tivo worship the daytime television programming they have not been able to see since their VHS deck went belly up.

Jackson Pollack Day – A day set aside to hurl several different colored paints at large white surfaces.

I Finally Got Enough Sleep To Feel Like Having Sex Day – No explanation needed.

Microwave Day – Established 1975. The modern version of Stove Day.

Bill Gates Day – A day to stand in awe of a man with more money than God.

Donald Trump Day – A day to stand in awe of a man with more hairpieces than money.

When you think about it, there is no limit to the amount of reasons we could come up with for taking our own personal holiday. Feel free to comment with some of your own.

Now, I have to go. My family never misses International Borscht Week.

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