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Breathing is Overrated

A friend who said they were concerned about my stress levels forwarded me a link the other day, to a book called HOW TO CALM DOWN by Fred L. Miller. They told me that in the book there is an exercise that will help anyone feel better in ten seconds. Normally, I only allot 2.4 seconds to relaxation in any given day, but I figured I’d give it a shot.

A friend who said they were concerned about my stress levels forwarded me a link the other day, to a book called HOW TO CALM DOWN by Fred L. Miller. They told me that in the book there is an exercise that will help anyone feel better in ten seconds. Normally, I only allot 2.4 seconds to relaxation in any given day, but I figured I’d give it a shot. This same friend (who asked to remain nameless because she’s married to me) made me promise that I do the exercise live, as it were, on my blog, giving my readers a blow-by-blow account of my groundbreaking encounter with relaxation. So here goes:

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1.Inhale.
Okay, so far so good.

2.Now exhale.
Right. I’m on board with exhaling.

3.Feels good, doesn’t it?
What feels good? Am I missing something?

4.Inhale again – a little deeper this time.
I think I just coughed out a muffin crumb.

5.Now slow down your exhale. Stretch it out.
Is that the phone?

6.One more time – a long, slow inhale.
This whole thing could mean I am so out of balance that I need to be reminded how to breathe. I can’t deal with that, so I’ll move on.

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7. Pay attention as your breath comes in.
Just a second, I’m trying to hit the bulls-eye in one of those pop-up ads.

8. Don’t think about it; just watch your breath as it fills your lungs.
Seriously, I could win a free Ipod.

9. Now the exhale – feel it, watch it.

Hey, you feel it, watch it, okay?

10. Exhale completely.

Swell. Now I’m out of breath.

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Okay, I guess that’s over. How’d I do honey—oops, I mean, my anonymous friend? By the way, this friend also wants me to say that Mr. Miller’s book is really good, and that probably everyone BUT me can benefit from it. You should know that Mr. Miller goes on to suggest that this exercise be done ten times a day, whenever you start to feel impatient.

Whenever I start to feel impatient? Great. Now I have to do it again!

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