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I Rest On Dilbert’s Case

CEO DAD’S TUESDAY TIRADE As a comic strip character, I have few opportunities to really bust out. I can remember a particularly wild party with the folks from “Get Fuzzy,” and back in the day there was what is still known only as the “Funky Winkerbean Incident.” (I cannot go into detail as the gag order from Judge Parker is still in place.)

CEO DAD’S TUESDAY TIRADE

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As a comic strip character, I have few opportunities to really bust out. I can remember a particularly wild party with the folks from “Get Fuzzy,” and back in the day there was what is still known only as the “Funky Winkerbean Incident.” (I cannot go into detail as the gag order from Judge Parker is still in place.)

However, today, I am feeling particularly celebratory. You see, my creator, Tom Stern, knows how I’ve been going off a bit about Dilbert, my main competitor in the workplace comics world. To sum up the past month or so of mud slinging, I will say that, as an empowered, take-no-prisoners kind of CEO, I find Dilbert’s rather sad-sack quality an improper role model for the American worker. The more folks identify with him, I believe, the more they will keep themselves in subservient roles.

Well, as I was hanging out in one of my cartoon panels the other day, waiting for my creator, Tom Stern, to put the finishing touches on one of my strips (which by the way, you can check out at ceodad.com), my eyes wandered to a letter that Tom had pointedly left out for me to see. (I’m a cartoon character. My eyes can bend out of my head like sausage casings when they need to.) It was an endorsement for his upcoming book CEO DAD: How To Avoid Being Fired By Your Family, in which, you may guess, I figure quite prominently. In fact, the book is a stylized, humorous account of how Tom came up with the character of me.

Imagine my amazement, and enormous ego boost, when I read the following:

“It’s time for Dilbert to move over and make room for CEO DAD.”
Jerry Seinfeld

It was very moving for me to read these words. In fact, you’ll have to pardon me, I’m getting a little weepy, and if my tears start running unabated, this week’s strip will end up looking like a Dali painting.

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Now, this Seinfeld fellow doesn’t have his own comic strip, so I can’t say he’s that big in my pen and ink universe. But, from what I overhear Tom saying, the man is an icon in your human world, and a huge public figure. And this gigantic personage, in one sentence, has summed up my position on the whole Dilbert question. So this week, I just want to say, God bless you, Jerry Seinfeld. And may you one day have your own groundbreaking TV series, if that’s what will truly make you happy.

Yours fictionally,

Frank Pitt
CEO DAD

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