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Dilbert Must Be Stopped

CEO DAD’S TUESDAY TIRADE

CEO DAD’S TUESDAY TIRADE

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I know it’s been a little bit since I posted here, but I just spent a week hanging out with the intellectuals in Doonesbury, and not only do I now have even less faith in how you human beings run your government, but I’m all mixed up about where the hell the punch line is in a Garry Trudeau cartoon. I asked the guy who made me up, Tom Stern, to explain it to me, and he gave me some cop-out answer like “it’s satire, it’s dry wit,” but I could tell he was covering because, like most of us, he doesn’t want to admit that anything beyond Andy Rooney is as threatening as one of those Best Foreign Film nominees from Burkina-Faso.

At least I had a week to take my mind of Dilbert’s continuing dominance of the workplace-related comic strip market. I thought I made my case last week that he is actually destroying the very fabric of our nation, but I guess it can take a while for harsh truths to sink in. Like when I told Tom Stern that inventing me was just a backhanded way of flipping off his father…let’s just say he made several “outreach calls” before writing me into a strip that morning.

But, it’s clear to me now that I have to take matters into my own hands. I live in the comic strip universe and you don’t, so you can’t be expected to feel the same sense of urgency that I do. You’ve got your own busy lives involving stuff people in my world never get to do. Like download a video of Britney Spears “forgetting” to wear underwear, or ignoring global climate change. By the same token, you can’t magically project yourself into the panels of a daily cartoon and stop the carnage wrought by Dilbert and company each and every week. I, however, can. And I can tell you that Dilbert and all of his cronies can hear me right this very minute. And I am calling you out, Dilbert. CEO DAD is challenging you to admit your wrongdoings (see February 20th blog for full list of offenses), and either start being a better role model for the workforce, or step off, and give me my rightful place as the one who leads by example in the newsprint netherworld.

Get back to me at this space, Dorkbert, if you dare.

And to my readers, I remain,

Yours fictionally,

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Frank Pitt, CEO DAD

Tom Stern is the founder of Stern Executive Search and the creator of CEO Dad, the syndicated comic strip about executive dysfuntion.

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