As a cartoon character, I tend to sit back and let my creator, Tom Stern, treat me like a puppet. After all, he has brought me, Frank Pitt, a fair amount of attention in his comic strip, CEO DAD. I urge you to check out my exploits as the heroic and painfully misunderstood President of the Pitt Packaging styrofoam peanuts empire.
Needless to say, I am an active member of the comics universe. Last week I went to see the Oscar-nominated “Happy Feet” with a penguin named Opus, and our neighbors often ask my wife Chloe to cat-sit for their hellion of a feline named Garfield. But up until now, I had thought I was the only fellow out there dealing with the realities of today’s workplace and the pressures it puts on employee and boss alike. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon Tom Stern’s mail the other day that I saw how wrong I was. Perhaps some of you received those reminder postcards from the Post Office, urging you to use their online shipping services, and using some little dweeb named “Dilbert” to do it. He sits in his cubicle, cackling like a mad scientist about how much postal business he can do at his computer. Look, Dilbert, saving a little time does not merit a cackle. There are people in business doing truly diabolical things out there, really earning their cackles Like oil company executives.
And then, this pitiable fellow goes home to his…I can barely say it…talking dog! Honestly, what an over-used technique. At least my dog has the decency to let a simple thought balloons above his head convey his innate superiority to human beings. Apparently, this little non-entity has been around for years. God only knows what kind of damage has been done to running an effective company with this kind of moron leading the charge. I’m going to look into this, and there will be more on these pages as I do. For now, I have to go. My wife has invited the Family Circus over for dinner, which means another evening of hopelessly sticky, obstreperous children running around, not to mention obvious and brutally unfunny captions.
Frank Pitt, CEO DAD