Egregiously Legalistic Sig File of the Month

So long, we couldn’t fit it all in. (From an actual email)

The information contained in this email may be privileged, confidential, and/or otherwise protected from disclosure. If you are neither the intended recipient, nor an agent, employee, or independent contractor responsible for delivering this message to the intended recipient, you are prohibited from copying, disclosing, distributing, disseminating, and/or using the information in this email in any manner. If you have received this message in error, please advise us immediately by return email and then delete the message from your computer and all other records (whether electronic, hard copy, or otherwise).


While we consider our information sources to be reliable, the integrity, accuracy, and/or completeness of emails, information, statistical data, and/or attached files (the “Information”) is not guaranteed by [egregiously legalistic company name deleted], or any of its U.S. subsidiaries, or any affiliate, affiliated entity, or employee of either.

[Company name deleted] furthermore expressly disclaims responsibility for changes made to any Information by any other person. [Ditto] reserves the right to monitor and review the content of all messages sent to and from this email address and may store any and all such messages in its email system.

Unless otherwise stated, this message does not constitute a solicitation, commitment, or offer to buy or sell any security. Any pricing information or other terms of a proposed transaction provided herein are indicative only, are not binding, and are subject to change without notice. Any transaction agreed to is subject to express final confirmation.

Unless otherwise indicated, this message is intended only for the personal and confidential use of the designated recipient(s) named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this message, you are hereby notified that any review, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this message is strictly prohibited. This communication is for information purposes only and should not be regarded as an offer to sell, or as a solicitation of an offer to buy, any financial product or service, an official confirmation of any transaction, or as an official statement of the entity sending this message. Email transmission cannot be guaranteed to…