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Think shoes can’t get uglier? Check out these fanny pack slides

Think shoes can’t get uglier? Check out these fanny pack slides

With perhaps the ugliest shoe creation of all time, Nike and Italian DJ Benny Benassi have collaborated on a just-released slide that incorporates mini fanny packs. And no, it’s not April 1.

Ok, ok, the functionality of this shoe isn’t lost on us. Have I ever thought about how much easier it would be if I could go to my bodega at 11 p.m. without having to wear clothes with pockets or carry a purse? I could wear my nightgown, stick my beer money, keys, and even a lipstick in these slides and be good to go. But where would I keep my dignity?

It’s hard to fully grasp what Nike was thinking when it decided to release these shoes. But I imagine America’s fascination with ugly shoes must somehow be tempting to shoe designers. Crocs, for instance, are mocked ceaselessly, but the brand still sells millions a year. Birkenstock was once considered nothing but functional, but they’ve become a fashion statement over the last year. And let’s not forget that time we all decided UGGs were hot.

Still, we need to acknowledge that there’s a line between “so ugly it somehow works” and “so ugly nobody will wear them.” IMHO, these fall squarely into the latter category.

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