What: A short rant about one of Donald Trump’s least credible boasts in recent memory.
Who: Stephen Colbert.
Why we care: Not since Mark Wahlberg claimed that he would have stopped 9/11 had he been on one of those United flights have we seen such absurdly vain armchair quarterbacking of a tragedy. On Monday afternoon, Donald Trump told a White House gathering of governors that, unlike the deputy assigned to protect Marjory Stoneman Douglas High, he believes he himself would have “run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon.” It’s a point on which Stephen Colbert disagrees.
The late-night host started his show Monday night with a monologue ripping into Trump’s laughably unbelievable belief. “What’s he gonna do, run in there and stab them with his bone spurs?” Colbert asked, referring to the medical condition Trump cited to defer from enlisting in military service during the Vietnam conflict (five times). Colbert also goes in on some of Trump’s proposed solutions (such as the idea that we need a rating system for movies), along with Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s ongoing efforts to explain that Trump didn’t actually say what he said. At least when Mark Wahlberg bragged about his hypothetical heroism, we didn’t have to hear E from Entourage deny that he said it afterward.