Einstein Bros. Bagels just unveiled a new product that has us more excited than Jessie Spano on caffeine pills. They just brought the world a product no one asked for, but we all deserve—a caffeinated bagel. Dubbed the “Espresso Buzz Bagel,” each one contains 32 milligrams of caffeine, or about a third of what you’ll find in the average 8-ounce cup, as Fox News reported. It also has 13 grams of protein, in case you’re into that sort of thing.
The reason Einstein Bros. decided to unleash this Frankenstein’s monster of the breakfast world is because they had noticed millennials’ love for artisanal coffee and decided caffeinated bagels were the logical next step, which is kind of like announcing you’re in the mood for pizza and a beer and being given lollipops that taste like pizza and a beer. Or when you say you like Apple products and your mom gives you pajamas with apples on them. Still: 100% would eat.