This Juice Company Is Actually Just A Clever Weed Company

HighSpeed wants to deliver you an improbably expensive juice. Would you like anything extra with that, for free?

This Juice Company Is Actually Just A Clever Weed Company
[Photo: OpenRangeStock/iStock] [Photo: OpenRangeStock/iStock]

A Boston company will now deliver locals bottles of juice priced at $55 per bottle. “Good luck,” you might be thinking. “I’m not paying $55 for a juice. What’s in there, anyway? Hand-squeezed physalis?” But the juice is a distraction, not just for you but for the law. The twist here is the juice comes with a free gift: marijuana.


Selling marijuana in Massachusetts is still illegal, even though it’s cool for medicinal and personal use. Stores will start opening to supply it from July 2018, according to the Massachusetts court, but until then there’s a gap in the market waiting to be filled. And that’s where HighSpeed comes in. HighSpeed launched in Boston on January 20 and has already been operating in Washington for a year.

[Photo: Flickr user Tanjila Ahmed]

HighSpeed sells itself as a delivery service, one with very few products. Once you have signed up, you can choose to buy juice, as well as art, or apparel. Then, you choose how much “love” you want with the order. Right now the juice is all sold out, but you can opt for something like this Oasis sweatshirt. Alone, it costs $30. With “love” it’s $81, and with “lots of love” you’ll pay $176.

You’d think that this obvious scam would draw the ire of the authorities, but that hasn’t happened in Washington. Speaking to the Cambridge Wicked Local, HighSpeed CEO David Umeh says, “We haven’t had any troubles, aside from a few questions from the Health Department in D.C., who thought our juices weren’t pasteurized correctly, but that wasn’t the case anyway.”

The Cambridge police department isn’t so sure. “Distributing marijuana without a license is unlawful,” Cambridge Police Department spokesperson Jeremy Warnick told the Wicked Local, before adding some redundant scaremongering: “Doing so could subject businesses to fines and expose their employees to the risk of arrest or potentially a personal safety issue such as robbery.”

The obvious answer to all of this is to make marijuana legal everywhere, in which case nobody would ever have to worry about a “personal safety issue such as robbery” when buying weed. As it is, the law still prefers to keep citizens in danger instead of letting them fire up a joint in their own back yard. States like Massachusetts are slowly doing the right thing, but with Jeff Sessions intimating that he’ll be cracking down on states with legal marijuana, you never know how the legalization of marijuana will turn out in the end. Now please excuse me. I’m feeling thirsty. Perhaps I’ll order a juice?

About the author

Previously found writing at, Cult of Mac and Straight No filter.