It’s no secret that Donald Trump is obsessed with television. There are reports that he doesn’t use a computer or really read much, but instead gets his news from TV networks. Hell, if he didn’t have his own reality TV show, we might not be in the giant, disgusting pickle in which we currently reside.
So it should, perhaps, come as little surprise that our know-little future Commander in Chief seems to base his cabinet hiring decisions less on a candidate’s qualifications and policy positions than on their physical qualities–or, in Trump’s words, how much they look like they are “straight from Central Casting.”
That, after all, is what he said about our future Vice President, Mike Pence, and also what he said about Mitt Romney, rumored to be in the running for Secretary of State. More recently, there’ve been rumors that Trump is eyeing Democrat Harold Ford, Jr., as a candidate for transportation secretary. Why? According to Politico, in part because of Ford’s “made-for-TV looks.” So far, then, Trump seems less concerned with finding the best people to help run the most powerful nation on Earth, and more interested in casting a new all-too-real reality show.
That got us thinking a couple of things: 1. Holy f**king shit. And 2. Who might a real Central Casting agent cast in these roles? To find out, we contacted Central Casting’s Greg Lawson, who works as a Casting Director in the company’s Atlanta office. Lawson noted that to work in Trump’s administration, it would help to be a “typical conservative — a caucasian male in their fifties or sixties, and very straight laced.” With that in mind, and given the people already in place or being floated for gigs, here is who Lawson cast in three prominent roles.
Veep: Anderson Cooper. This is an outside-the-box pick that Trump might admire for the sheer zagging-instead-of-zigging aspect of it. And besides, Lawson, says, “he produces as well as acts.”
Secretary of State: Martin Sheen. This would no doubt get the blogosphere hot and bothered, as Sheen once played the prez himself in Aaron Sorkin’s The West Wing.
Transportation Secretary: Morgan Freeman. Hey, if Trump is looking for a democratic, authoritative POC for this job, he could do a lot worse than a man who has God on his resume.