Hey. You. Person holding colored pencils. How much did you pay for ’em. $5? $50? $500?
Pfft. Why even bother? You can’t make art with that. You might as well be grinding a fungal nail into a torn off piece of notebook paper. Dipping a chopstick into a carton of kung pao chicken and wiping it on a Moleskin.
But I have good news. Everything’s going to be okay, according to WWD by way of Gizmodo. The art world has been saved from millennia of subpar products, because Karl Lagerfeld–being the prismatic personality he is known to be–has teamed up with colored pencil company Faber-Castell to sell the $2,850 The KarlBox. 350 pieces in all, it has some pens and sharpeners and stuff. But the main attraction is all 120 colors from Faber-Castell’s premium Albrecht Dürer line.
So why didn’t they just leave Dürer’s name on the set? Because Albrecht Dürer was no Karl Lagerfeld, that’s why. Did Dürer resurrect the most iconic fashion label of all time? No? Then don’t even bring up the fact that you can order a full 120 piece set of Dürers for 1/14 the price on Amazon. Besides, those pencils come in a tin like an Altoid. An Altoid, man. They don’t arrive in Karl Lagerfeld’s black KarlBox, which features his silhouette (swoon) over a form inspired by a Chinese wedding chest.
Why a Chinese wedding chest? Ugh. You know what? Forget it. I’m tired of your questions. You’re the worst. You’re the Crayola of readers. If you don’t value the KarlBox, you can’t have it. No I’m not joking. Go put on your lame ass non-Karl-Lagerfeld jeans, and hop in your lame ass non-Karl-Lagerfeld car, and drive to your local lame ass non-Karl-Lagerfeld Walgreens, and go ahead, treat yourself, fill your lame ass non-Karl-Lagerfeld basket with as many 99-cent sparkle watercolor sets you like.
And don’t you dare put them in a Chinese wedding chest.
[Photos: Faber-Castell via WWD]