These days, part of the marketing campaign for every movie packed with iconic characters seems to be adding a collection of emojis to Facebook’s “stickers” app. You can react to a friend’s comments with a rolling BB-8 or a happy Fozzy Bear, or send any character from Katniss Everdeen to Charlie Brown to demonstrate what words can’t. (And don’t even get us started on the endless Minions!)
With just a few weeks to go before the release of the dubiously anticipated Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, it’s time for that film’s iconic intellectual property–Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman–to turn into stickers you can slap up whenever you don’t have the words. And while those stickers are, er, a bit dramatic (there’s a sad Batman!), there are enough ridiculous conversations that come up on Facebook to make that range of reactions downright useful. Here are some of the prime opportunities to go all Dawn of Justice on the social networking site.
When Your Friend’s Angry Uncle Shows Up To Argue With You About Politics
One of the fun, and also horrible, things about social media is that it throws all of the people you’ve met throughout the course of your life into a blender, unleashes their primal id, and then sets them out to enact our national culture war in microcosm. For people who spend all day stewing in their car listening to talk radio or enjoying a political echo chamber, the chance to actually take out some of their barely controlled rage on an actual member of the other “team,” such as it is, can be too enticing to pass up. If you’re having a measured conversation with, say, an acquaintance from a former workplace and someone you don’t know who shares the same last name as your friend pops up to insult you, though, it can be a little less fun. You could go all heat-vision on ’em, but if you don’t want to spend all day arguing with someone who clearly has nothing else to do but fight with randos on Facebook, it’s probably better to take a more conciliatory message from Superman and urge him to stand down.
When You Learn Two Of Your Friends Are Fans Of Rival Sports Teams And Want To Trash Talk
Sometimes watching people in your life argue isn’t terrible–and mostly, it depends on their temperament and the stakes of the argument. Fighting about gay rights tends to get personal quick. Fighting about whether Steph Curry has fully claimed the title of “Best Basketball Player Alive” from LeBron, though, can be pretty fun to watch. When two of your friends get into that fight, egg ’em on with the action shot of Batman and Superman tussling–and whoever picks Curry gets to be Batman, because oh my god, did you see that game against the Thunder where he hit the three at the buzzer in overtime.
When A Junior High Friend Of Yours Starts Ranting Suddenly About Vaccinations
Sometimes, as the years pass, we find ourselves recalling someone we used to play Magic: The Gathering with who moved to Minnesota at the end of 8th grade. Because we never have to wonder “What ever became of Steve whose locker was three down from mine?” anymore, the odds are good that you have friended that person on Facebook, exchanged a few brief “How the hell are you?” messages, and then forgotten that you brought that person back into your life in any way. But in the time since you last saw them, Steve whose locker was three down from yours has lived an entire life, and sometimes that life has led Steve to develop very strong opinions about vaccinations, which he will share with you at random moments, in thick blocks of text that lack even a courtesy line break. It’s sad–you had good times, you and Steve–but this is what the Superman “Bye” emoji was made for.
When Someone You Don’t Know That Well Is Sharing A Link To Get Free Airline Tickets If You Just Click This Link That Ends In .Onion
Not everybody is as Internet savvy as you are, and some of them are somehow convinced that companies are more than happy to give away free high-dollar items like airline tickets to anybody who clicks a link and enters some personal information. That is not a great way to get free airline tickets! It is a great way to get viruses, or to find yourself sending out a bunch of emails to everyone in your contacts explaining that you’re trapped in Portugal and need them to wire money to a random foreign account right now, though. Luckily, Wonder Woman is there for you in your time of need, with her bracelets to protect you.
Anytime Somebody Has Bad News, But Not News So Bad You Wouldn’t Feel Like A Jerk For Responding With A Hilarious Image Of Sad Batman