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Have A Weird Valentine’s Date With Fabio And Some Cute Kittens In Your House Right Now

Much like Nick Offerman’s whiskey-drinking yule log, but sadder, a virtual date with Fabio is now streaming online for lonelyhearts willing to accept a digital facsimile of a Nordic nostalgia-torch in lieu of human contact. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Streaming video service Feeln has created a virtual date experience with co-star of Dude, Where’s My Car?, Fabio, intended to keep users company in their moment of need. Are you without a Valentine this year? Let Feeln bring the romance to you with “Your Perfect Valentine’s Date,” the last thing you see before actually transmogrifying into an embroidery of a Cathy cartoon. (Ack!)

The stream went live on Wednesday, February 10, and it features Fabio luxuriating on a bear skin rug dotted in rose petals–you know, the way that women commonly fantasize about seeing men romantically? As a fire blazes behind him, Fabio says things like “So, tell me about your day” to embolden viewers with permission to talk about themselves, out loud, to a laptop-centered Fabio surrounded by cats.

“Your Perfect Valentine’s Date” is a promotion that may lead viewers to some of the actual films available on Feeln, such as A Walk to Remember and As Good As It Gets. Feeln is a subsidiary of Hallmark, the greeting card company who gave us Valentine’s Day in the first place, and whose track record remains unimpeachable straight through to your weird pseudo-date with Fabio.JB