After losing tens of millions of dollars building an entire TV network and digital news operation meant to appeal to millennials, someone at Univision finally realized they could have just bought something millennials already like. So Univision is buying a controlling share of The Onion. Despite not resembling a joke in any way, news outlets were careful to specify that this story is not a joke. Also not jokes: Cheese. The second Continental Congress. Pete Sampras’s 2002 U.S. Open victory. No one knows if there’s a way to distinguish jokes from non-jokes other than listing them.
The title of the new documentary about Anthony Weiner is pronounced “Weiner” but actually spelled “.” Today in Balls. Scientists are high again. Apple’s board called a recruitment diversity proposal “unduly burdensome and not necessary.” You can have eight guesses who sits on Apple’s board, but five of them have to be white men. And in a letter to the editor of The Oregonian, Ursula K. Le Guin called the Oregon militia “a flock of Right-Winged Loonybirds.”