AGELESS PHONE, AT ONCE ANCIENT AND NEW. WHO THIS?
— Daniel Manitou (@ActualPerson084) January 18, 2016
Everyone is scrambling to file their final takes before the end of the fact-free phase of the 2016 U.S. presidential campaign, but instead of “takes,” this year we’re apparently calling them “cases.” Among the cases being made are Ezra Klein’s case that Hillary is a crappy campaigner, but also his case that Sanders’s health care plan is not real. Paul Krugman made a similar case against Sanders’s health care ideas, and Chait argued his own “Case Against Bernie Sanders” which is basically that Sanders wants to do all the things he can’t do as president, and doesn’t care very much about the things he would have the power to do. In Commonweal, Matthew Boudway presented “A Case Against ‘The Case Against Bernie Sanders’,” and if you like that case, please donate to Commonweal’s “th” Fund. With your help they can afford to finish their title this fiscal year.
[Clinton does something, anything, vaguely resembling the usual strategy of a candidate in a competitive campaign]
MEDIA: SHE’S PANICKING!!!
— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) January 17, 2016
CNN recapped the fourth secret Democratic debate, which took place late Sunday night on an abandoned former Al Jazeera America soundstage underneath a blue tarp, and in .Mic, Luke Brinker made a millennial case that Obama was a good president. Finally Snoop Dogg checked in with “Murder,” which was, in fact, the case that they gave him.
In Crazyland, Republican nominee Donald Trump brought out three little girls to sing a song about crushing your enemies which was originally meant to be about General Patton. He hinted that he might pick Scott Brown for a running mate, but those rumors Palin comparison to the theory a few plane-spotting Freepers came up with involving a private jet that flew from Anchorage to Des Moines last night.
And if you’re looking for the least plausible election case, here you go: Donald Trump will beat Hillary with the votes of black Obama supporters. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria.