Chances are, you’ve already seen The Force Awakens. In fact, you probably have tickets for your second (most likely third) viewing lined up for later this week. You spent your entire day making Star Wars snowflakes. There’s nothing you can learn from reading this.
And yes, according to Google Trends data, a lot of people are asking a lot of questions about Star Wars. Browsing the top Star Wars-related questions on the Internet, I can’t imagine who would search for something as fundamental as “What order should I watch Star Wars?” Where have these people been all their lives? Are you related to them? To save you the agony of repeatedly answering the same basic questions over your holiday ham, we present this cheat sheet to Google’s top Star Wars searches for you to pass on, readily available all holiday weekend.
Warning: Spoilers for The Force Awakens below, because of course.
1. What order should I watch Star Wars?
How you’ve made it to the end of 2015 without watching a single Star Wars movie, we’ll never know. That being said, the definitive answer is original trilogy (A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi) first, and prequel trilogy (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith) second. Then cycle back to the originals one last time, if only to get the taste of CGI and Jar Jar Binks out of your mouth before graduating to The Force Awakens.
2. Who is Kylo Ren?
The baddie of the sequel trilogy. We won’t go into too much detail (though as anyone who’s already seen TFA knows, there’s a lot to discuss about Kylo), but he’s a dark side fanatic intent on finishing whatever it is that Darth Vader started.
3. Is Luke Skywalker Kylo Ren?
Where did this theory even come from? Luke Skywalker is Luke Skywalker, played by Mark Hamill and therefore not the same character already announced for months in advance to be played by Adam Driver. No.
4. When do Star Wars tickets go on sale?
5. Who is Finn in Star Wars?
Finn is another new character to the Star Wars universe. As we’ve known from the first TFA teaser, Finn (played by John Boyega) is a Stormtrooper who defects from his mission and somehow finds his way to a lightsaber, the Jedi weapon of choice. What he’ll actually end up doing with that lightsaber, however, remains unseen.