The J’accuzzi, a place to relax and point fingers
— Naomi Skwarna (@awomanskwarned) December 16, 2015
Caricature of sneering capitalist cruelty Martin Shkreli and Evan Greebel, Rebel Alliance general and Winklevoss Trust bitcoin lawyer, were arrested Thursday morning for egregious price-gouging on drugs that literally keep babies from dying. Lol j/k, they were arrested for defrauding other rich people. Twitter was mainly interested in whether this could lead to the civil forfeiture of Shkreli’s one-of-a-kind Wu-Tang album and where to pick up that great perp-walk hoodie (only $15!). As of press time, America’s absurdly expensive and wasteful medical system remained intact.1
Fortune’s Dan Primack reported yesterday that, as we all assumed, GOP mega-donor and Baron Harkonnen lookalike Sheldon Adelson is the new owner of the Las Vegas Review-Journal. But Brian Stelter almost immediately reported that Adelson had denied it on Tuesday night, claiming he had “no personal interest” in the newspaper. Even Stelter was kinda like:
Today, the Review-Journal concluded that the bloated billionaire was indeed its new owner, which the Adelson family finally confirmed, claiming they were “proud to announce” the acquisition they’ve spent the week lying about. Adelson’s other hobbies include wasting money on Newt Gingrich and suing journalists into bankruptcy. Las Vegas’s other major daily, The Las Vegas Sun, is actually delivered as an insert in the Review-Journal and is owned by Bill Clinton’s college roommate, Brian Greenspun, which puts the city in the strange position of having two daily newspapers owned by activists on opposite sides of the political spectrum—neither of whom seem to realize that local newspapers don’t really affect public opinion anymore.
In honor of the novel’s 60th anniversary, The New Republic has been running a Lolita book club all week, with essays by Doreen St. Felix, Josephine Livingstone, Hannahs both Gold and Rosefield, and more. It ends tomorrow, so do yourself a favor and read the whole thing. Bonus Lolita content: Rebecca Solnit’s “Men Explain Lolita To Me” in Lithub.
Merry Podsmas: Want a podcast? There’s a new episode of Serial out. The Awl podcast just returned after months of neglect with an episode featuring Clay Shirky. Reply All has a year-end updates collection including the answer to the question: “how did that goat get there?” And Song Exploder got Bjork!
Today’s gifs are from Deep Sea News. Here are the best Twitter bots of 2015. Some say I’m lazy. Others say that’s just me. Some say I’m crazy. I guess I’ll always be. But it’s been such a long time, since I knew right from wrong. It’s all a means to an end I… I’ll just go sit on the throne.
Thank goodness Intern José is back with us after yesterday’s disastrous visit from Temporary Intern DJ Chad.
Chad, what the hell was that, man? You are so fired. I don’t ever want to see DJ Chad in here again.
Merry Christmas: from William S. Burroughs.
Today’s Song: Just listen to Björk on Song Exploder, what are you waiting for.
~Fools use tabs for arguments.~
Thursday is Today in Tabs Friday so happy weekend everyone! Tomorrow The Verge’s science editor Liz Lopatto joins us with Science Tabs. As always you’ll find it on Fast Company and you can subscribe here.
I apologize for how difficult it is to tell which parts of this paragraph are jokes, but reality appears to be, at this point, completely fucked. ↩