Today in Tabs: A Grotesque Amoral Shrug

What is the sound of one hand stealing from itself?

Today in Tabs: A Grotesque Amoral Shrug
[Photo: Flickr user Victor]

Caricature of sneering capitalist cruelty Martin Shkreli and Evan Greebel, Rebel Alliance general and Winklevoss Trust bitcoin lawyer, were arrested Thursday morning for egregious price-gouging on drugs that literally keep babies from dying. Lol j/k, they were arrested for defrauding other rich people. Twitter was mainly interested in whether this could lead to the civil forfeiture of Shkreli’s one-of-a-kind Wu-Tang album and where to pick up that great perp-walk hoodie (only $15!). As of press time, America’s absurdly expensive and wasteful medical system remained intact.1


Fortune’s Dan Primack reported yesterday that, as we all assumed, GOP mega-donor and Baron Harkonnen lookalike Sheldon Adelson is the new owner of the Las Vegas Review-Journal. But Brian Stelter almost immediately reported that Adelson had denied it on Tuesday night, claiming he had “no personal interest” in the newspaper. Even Stelter was kinda like:

Mmmmmmmmm oh my gah–

Today, the Review-Journal concluded that the bloated billionaire was indeed its new owner, which the Adelson family finally confirmed, claiming they were “proud to announce” the acquisition they’ve spent the week lying about. Adelson’s other hobbies include wasting money on Newt Gingrich and suing journalists into bankruptcy. Las Vegas’s other major daily, The Las Vegas Sun, is actually delivered as an insert in the Review-Journal and is owned by Bill Clinton’s college roommate, Brian Greenspun, which puts the city in the strange position of having two daily newspapers owned by activists on opposite sides of the political spectrum—neither of whom seem to realize that local newspapers don’t really affect public opinion anymore.

We are proud to announce that the Adelson family has purchased the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

In honor of the novel’s 60th anniversary, The New Republic has been running a Lolita book club all week, with essays by Doreen St. Felix, Josephine Livingstone, Hannahs both Gold and Rosefield, and more. It ends tomorrow, so do yourself a favor and read the whole thing. Bonus Lolita content: Rebecca Solnit’s “Men Explain Lolita To Me” in Lithub.

Merry Podsmas: Want a podcast? There’s a new episode of Serial out. The Awl podcast just returned after months of neglect with an episode featuring Clay Shirky. Reply All has a year-end updates collection including the answer to the question: “how did that goat get there?” And Song Exploder got Bjork!

It was always our intention to publicly announce our ownership of the R-J.

Today’s gifs are from Deep Sea News. Here are the best Twitter bots of 2015. Some say I’m lazy. Others say that’s just me. Some say I’m crazy. I guess I’ll always be. But it’s been such a long time, since I knew right from wrong. It’s all a means to an end I… I’ll just go sit on the throne.


Thank goodness Intern José is back with us after yesterday’s disastrous visit from Temporary Intern DJ Chad.


I lost touch with The Stranger when I moved off the Hill and became slightly less desperate for the validation of show previews with my band’s name in them. Turns out they’ve been doing fine without me, publishing a grip of great #content in this week’s issue. This is going to read like Northwest Community Arts tabs but NYC has enjoyed Internet cultural hegemony for the past 15 years so I hope you’ll let it slide this time.

Shana Cleveland of Seattle rock group La Luz wrote a tour diary that reads like a prose poem:

On the autobahn, cars go so fast that if you gaze across the lanes of opposing traffic to a cornfield or a thin forest of birch trees, you can’t really see cars at all, just shadows, the slight glint of metal. I noticed that trick one day in the backseat and I became obsessed with making cars disappear, but told no one because it’s terrifying.

Angela Garbes wrote about local vegan restauranteur Makini Howell and the curious challenges of being Stevie Wonder’s touring chef. Surprisingly, disappearing for a month and a half and not explaining why can make the people around you think you’re some kind of screw up. And there’s also a cool interview with Wynne Greenwood about, among other things, finally putting to rest successful past projects that don’t seem to want to go away.

Brb making a smoothie

Sorry, that was Chad. I don’t frick with smoothies. Back to the Real World.

The Fader has Zayn Malik on leaving One Direction and what comes next for “the West’s single most prominent Muslim celebrity.” Trying to get Adele tickets is super stressful. I’m going to watch her NBC special, and call it good enough. And the A.V. Club interviewed the person who figures out the soundtrack to your T.V. story.

Chad, what the hell was that, man? You are so fired. I don’t ever want to see DJ Chad in here again.

Today’s Creepy Sitcom Teaser: The Full House reboot is just going to be ominous shots of empty rooms accompanied by stilted offscreen conversation. It’s even weirder with the original theme song.

Merry Christmas: from William S. Burroughs.

Today’s Song: Just listen to Björk on Song Exploder, what are you waiting for.


~Fools use tabs for arguments.~

Thursday is Today in Tabs Friday so happy weekend everyone! Tomorrow The Verge’s science editor Liz Lopatto joins us with Science Tabs. As always you’ll find it on Fast Company and you can subscribe here.

  1. I apologize for how difficult it is to tell which parts of this paragraph are jokes, but reality appears to be, at this point, completely fucked.  ↩

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