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Today In Tabs: Riddle Me This

What has two thumbs and 34 tabs for you?

Today In Tabs: Riddle Me This
[Photo: Flickr user Dan Ruscoe]

In his ongoing effort to develop a more lifelike personality module, beloved Star Wars character Elon Musk, his droid sidekick Sama-2Polo, and their ragtag band of messianic libertarian billionaires have founded OpenAI, which would be easier to dismiss as the sci-fi hobby of a bunch of overprivileged net.boyz were it not for the distinct sensation that it’s only a couple more years until “waiting for the Singularity” becomes “making the Singularity happen whether you like it or not.” The group of supervillains have pledged a billion dollars to the cause, because it is the smallest number of dollars they are able to count.

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It’s the week before Christmas Eve Day Week and frankly either nothing much is going on or I just can’t bring myself to care, so let’s check out some end-of-the-year lists! BuzzFeed’s Sarah Burton collected 2015’s many Peak NY Times Moments in a post that is close enough to media criticism that one assumes no BuzzFeed editor has noticed it yet. Richard Brody picked the best movies of 2015 for The New Yorker. It turns out there were no good movies in 2015, but these are the best of a crappy lot.1 Columbia Journalism Review posted this year in Journalism Tabs, saving me the trouble (which I was not going to go to, believe me). Do you like to eat, fellow human? Then you may like Eater’s 21 Best Longform Food Stories of 2015. It isn’t eating, but it is about eating. Do you like to watch sports? Then how about Longform’s Best Sports Writing of 2015? Again, reading this is not sports, but it is sports-adjacent. Do you like one very specific freelance writer? Is it Elon Green? Then you will love this list of stories Elon is proud of writing this year. Is your holiday gift budget as low as $7,900,000 or as high as $8,000,000? Then Gwyneth’s Gift Guide is extremely for you.

Today in Lubchansky: 2016’s upcoming food trends (feat. Jaya Saxena):

And 2052’s Election:

To Satoshi…: Someone on the bitcoin-dev list claimed Craig Wright isn’t Satoshi, but that’s probably fake too? Wired’s Andy Greenburg walked the story back a bit, as did Gizmodo’s Andy “when the” Cush “hit”. And Clinton Nguyen presented the crazy idea that “Fallout” game creator Bethesda Softworks created bitcoin.

…And Beyond: An absolutely ordinary American town full of Americans with a normal American level of education and scientific understanding rejected a proposed solar farm because the solar panels would “suck up all the energy from the sun.” In what has to be the year’s most incredible euphemism, this Michigan woman used “help” to mean “shoot at.” Matt Haughey: “Why I can’t stop putting dildos into the hands of powerful conservatives.” And no one knows who bought the Las Vegas Review-Journal. The only clue so far is a note on a green card that says “? ? ? What has $28 billion and rhymes with ‘Greldon Badelson‘ ? ? ?”

Riddle me this, Intern José:

TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by JOSÉ DÍAZ ROHENA

Why Millennials Don’t Want To Work For You isn’t the fire-breathing screed I wanted but more a how-to for HR people and corporate managers who want to lure and keep young talent. The title, of course, is clickbait and it got me by stoking my intergenerational resentment. Given the many iterations of the same “Millennials Are Oversensitive and Coddled” article that came up in my newsfeed this year, I feel that this resentment is as well earned as it is spiritually toxic. That’s what I get for taking my tabs from Facebook? And what we, the Snake People, get for existing is nothing but blame for responding to the problems we face.

Sorry y’all. I’m Mad As Hell this morning. So before I go on abusing my Anthro degree, enjoy this palate cleanser—Dara Tafakari on collard greens and the perils of culinary appropriation.

Spoon’s Gimme Fiction got a reissue. Apparently it’s the most important rock record of the decade, presumably for the way it grapples with rock nostalgia while being a very good rock record in a time of not-so-good indie rock. I came to Gimme Fiction and its antecedents hella late, possibly because the heritage I share with my cohort is only a generation deep. My parents’ music is not my girlfriend’s parents’ music. And you know, diversity is enriching and essential but I have found that being the diversity is more alienating than anything else. Also alienating is posting articles that examine race in indie music and having white randos pop off on your Facebook. I guess that’s what I get for sharing tabs on Facebook?

I know this is the part where I’m supposed to make fun of the intern but I want to just call your attention one more time to this sentence:

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And you know, diversity is enriching and essential but I have found that being the diversity is more alienating than anything else.

Damn, that’s a good sentence. Good work José.

Today’s Toys: Nicole He made a true love Tinder robot, and Mariko Kosaka made Sweaterify, the ugly sweater creator.

Today’s Song: Damiyr, “Who Am I To Say (Hope)

~he’s like a young colt but somehow he also reminds me more of a tabby cat.~

Today in Tabs never really got into Spoon somehow? Don’t really know why. Anyway, Fast Company & subscribe is the new Netflix & chill.


  1. White men really love “Chi-Raq” huh?  ↩

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