Today in Tabs: The Future Is Tabs

The Cosby next door.

Today in Tabs: The Future Is Tabs
[Source photos: Flickr users CHRISTOPHER MACSURAK, Austin, Wikimedia Commons]

James Deen, porn’s so-called “boy next door,” has been accused of rape and sexual assault by several other actors in the last few days, including Stoya, Tori Lux, and Ashley Fires. immediately dropped him as a performer, as did Evil Angel, and The Frisky canceled his advice column. Project Consent has also distanced itself from Deen, who presumably misspoke in an interview for the group when he said that “it’s not that hard to not be an asshole.” He has also stepped down from the board of the adult performer’s union APAC. So, after teaching the world what the internet is for and how to use it, the porn industry now appears to be putting on a clinic in how to listen to women and respond seriously to rape allegations against a high-profile star. Meanwhile, Deen’s “boy next door” image remains safe, since the actual boy next door is probably an abuser too.


Maybe tech stocks are back up again or maybe they’re marking them down as I write this, who even knows. The data breaches continue anyway, this time of 4.8 million parent accounts from toymaker VTech along with lots of personal information on their children including names, genders, photos, and chat logs. Snapchat is letting publishers deep-link into its previously inviolable walled garden, making it a sort of reverse AOL. The Gray Lady (“Word up!”) made another of its periodic hapless condemnations of the Way The Kids Speak Today, to which Kyle Chayka replied: “lol ded.” Here’s the most depressing Tumblr. And Facebook strictly limited the ads in Instant Articles, but then also prohibited publishers from selling them at a premium, so one or the other of those rules is probably not going to last much longer. Facebook also just unveiled its hideous Frank Gehry-designed new-economy sweatshop in this Washington Post press release.

Who wore it best?

Two good BuzzFeeds: Future novelist Doree Shafrir on Mitch Albom and Kashana Cauley on being a black woman at a gun show. Here’s a somewhat understated review of the Broadway hit “Hamilton. Sarah Jeong: “There’s nothing quaint or archaic about dragging out authority figures in flowy gowns to muck around with a magic rock… This is more or less how the law still works today.” Scientists, meddling with forces they cannot possibly understand, just discovered a new phase of carbon called Q-carbon, which is magnetic and harder than diamond. This innovation in materials science could lead to as much as 30 more years of awful superhero movies. And Jake Tapper finally said what we were all thinking to dimwitted Trump spokes-uncle Michael Cohen.

Free from the first-day constraint of introducing himself, Intern José has some news for you from the world of music, an industry that unfortunately lags far behind porn in dealing with its abusers.


In the shadow of about 500 cranes, Seattle is enjoying a feminist punk renaissance. I am truly #blessed, for if I could leave my cave (which I would, except for these pallets of Soylent blocking all the doors and windows), I could hypothetically see any of these bands in person. Except La Luz, who I’m pretty sure live in Los Angeles now. Meanwhile, the performers involved are getting priced out of the neighborhoods that nurtured them. Maybe we need some of these San Francisco-style anti-gentrification devices.

No one seems to know or care about what’s happening with Kesha. A lot of the coverage frames it as another legal dispute between entertainment people and not a woman’s choice between ending her career and working with her abuser. But then, we can’t even decide whether to do anything about R. Kelly, so are you surprised?

Adele’s “25” sold a shit-ton of whatever we’re selling these days. Maybe people will pay for music if you make them? Hold on, asks devil’s advocate John Seabrook in The New Yorker, what if this whole streaming is a bad deal for the artist pose is actually a “heavy-handed attempt to make us pay for the music twice?” It definitely is–but only if you think that your Spotify account entitles you to all music. (Spoiler: it doesn’t.)

For what it’s worth, starting December 4, Billboard’s album chart will reflect how people actually listen to music now, by counting streams and track sales as well as album sales. Artists with hella streams stand to benefit, as least as far as chart position is concerned. But what does chart position get you anymore? “Exposure?” If you have enough people streaming/downloading your record for this new rule to make a difference, does it really do you any good?

I don’t know, José! Maybe in the future Billboard chart position will come with prizes, like a month’s supply of Soylent. Drink up, buddy, only 30 days to go.

Today in It Me:Police rush in after man heard screaming ‘I’m going to kill you’; discover noise caused by him attacking spider

Today’s Pandering: Here’s Music For Cats which I know you gross cat people will love.


Today’s Song: Princess Chelsea, “The Cigarette Duet

~Does spider have tabs~

Dep’t of Real Talk: Hey, so, yesterday after the intern tab, I made a joke about rewriting 90% of José and Bijan’s work. It was a bad joke, because the premise was basically me (~The White Man~) taking credit for the work of people of color. I don’t think anyone took it particularly seriously but nevertheless, it wasn’t up to standards and I’m sorry for making it. For the record: Bijan, José, and all the interns in Tabs were responsible for their own work, and they should be proud of it. Ok! Everyone is problematic sometimes. When I fuck up again, you’ll find it on Fast Company or I will email it directly to you if you subscribe.

Hey put your email address here and press subscribe, because reasons.


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