actually there have been naturally occurring periodic changes to the media’s climate for thousands of years
— Hanson O’Haver (@HansonOHaver) November 17, 2015
Yesterday seven more editorial Slack accounts went dark at Gawker Media, joining the practically everyone else who has also departed recently. This is all great news, though, according to John Cook, who promises to hire an equal number of good writers to replace the human garbage he just defenestrated. Nick Denton also issued an internal memo to his internal memos email list (firstname.lastname@example.org) which you can probably find in your own inbox and read if you enjoy the digital media fantasy & sci-fi genre. Or you could follow @TheNewGawker if you’d prefer Nick’s soporific absurdities in the form of an ongoing algorithmic stream:
New leadership of a story even if it isn’t a strict exclusive presence on a front page
— The New Gawker (@TheNewGawker) November 18, 2015
This ordeal has forced all sites, mine included — with our pants undone and our travel site, Gridskipper is so far the most
— The New Gawker (@TheNewGawker) November 18, 2015
As the firings proceeded, Gawker’s New York Times spokesperson Ravi Somaiya announced that Gawker will become Racket Teen impersonating Wonkette, Jezebel will become Gawker, Deadspin will become Adequate Man, and lots of sub-Kinjas no one reads will become cold with the eternal stillness of death. Sam Biddle and Allie Jones will be sent out on the campaign trail to lick doorknobs, and Alex Pareene and Tom Scocca will start writing columns, reversing Gawker’s controversial recent strategy of not making its best writers write anything. Baby Noah also reported that Curbed co-founder Josh Albertson will replace outgoing COO Scott Kidder, lending that perfect Vox-y sparkle to the New (New) New Gawker. Brendan James at International Business Times has more details today from Pareene, who promises the N. (N.) N. Gawker will be more like a smart Buzzfeed or a funny Vox, or basically just a better version of whatever site people actually like to read. He also revealed that the absurd and terrible 500 Days of Kristin series will continue. All these changes are definitely a good idea because brilliant media strategist @NYTimesFridge approves.
Elsewhere in Media: Canada’s Bell Media is cutting hundreds of jobs, and Condé Nast is closing Details and merging Self’s sales team with Glamour’s, in what is surely the most Lacanian corporate reorganization in recent memory. Also Google+ is retooling. Mashable reports that it will “emphasize users’ interests,” which mainly consist of “being on Facebook” and “not using Google+.”
Anyone who has listened to anything Ben Carson says already knows the man is an idiot, but G.O.P. voters don’t seem to be catching on fast enough for Carson’s own advisers, who called him an unteachable dimwit in the New York Times yesterday. Carson’s campaign responded “that Ben Carson was receiving tutelage from an adviser so old and senile that it was unethical for a reporter even to contact him on the record,” wrote Jonathan Chait. The Carson campaign then demonstrated that it literally can’t produce an accurate map of the United States.
Kurt Schlichter “emptied his bomb bay” repeatedly, and mopped it up into this unhinged war porn about a right-wing fantasy hero named “The Wildman” who defeats ISIS by killing everyone in Syria. Chapter Two reveals a surprising twist! Schlichter then returned to his full time job, tweeting about his “hot wife”.
♫ Hey cow
You’re an all star
You are grain fed
You are ground down
— Velvet Tusk (@velvettusk) October 7, 2015
Julia Carrie Wong’s new SF Weekly series “VCs Tweeting Badly” promises to be a delight. Tinder co-creator and Ben Carson-grade idiot Sean Rad “gets turned on by intellectual stuff,” a condition called, “I want to say ‘sodomy’?” So do I, Sean. So do we all.
Let’s Have a Snack: How about a cup of Good Coffee? Or a whiskey? Just don’t serve it in this stupid cup. Urban Outfitters might be regretting that pizza. And maybe you shouldn’t give your cat a cucumber but counterpoint: cats are jerks. Anyway, Mark Bittman wants us all to have a Purple Carrot. (Full disclosure: I’m told this column isn’t sponsored in any way, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.)
Today in Podcasting: Are podcasts the new blogs?
~So I missed a million tabs of fun~
EXCITING INTERN NEWS! I’m bringing back the Tabs intern program next month, assuming I can find an intern and a couple of sponsors!
Prospective Interns: The deal is that you write an intern tab every day, Monday through Thursday, for one month. An intern tab is 200-400 words (or thereabouts) on some link or topic of our mutual choosing, and I don’t care what you do with the rest of your time. For this you are paid the princely sum of $1,500 U.S. dollars total. I’m especially interested in applications from beginning journalists who could use a wider audience, women, people of color, and (traditionally, for some reason?) Canadians. Past Tabs interns have gone on to enormous fame and success and generally have had most of their problems and anxieties solved by this terrific opportunity.
To Apply: Email email@example.com with two sample intern tabs. The first should be an introduction of yourself, and the second should be an example of the kind of thing you would write. Do me a favor and put “TABS INTERN” in the subject line too. Please don’t ask if it’s okay to apply, or promise me you’re going to apply later, or feel out whether I’m interested in your application! I am! Just apply! It’ll be great, I promise.
Prospective Sponsors: Your brand and link will appear in a “brought to you by” sponsor area on every intern tab for a month. You will gain the satisfaction of helping a young journalist and the equal but different satisfaction of placing an unblockable ad in front of Today in Tabs’s large email list of engaged media and technology thinkfluencers. And all this for just $1,000,1 for the whole month! Only two sponsor slots are open for each month so contact me soon to reserve yours.
Yes I’m keeping a little of the money this time around. It turns out managing the intern program is actually extra work, so I’m paying myself a little bit for it. My time is valuable! ↩