• 11.17.15

How The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Would Go If Billy Eichner Ran The Show

If a 26-foot balloon of Rooney Mara seems up your alley, this will be the best parade of your whole life.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is still a serviceable nostalgia-generation machine, stoking up warm feelings and childhood memories, but in terms of sheer entertainment value, it’s kind of stalled out. Too many floats reminding parents of toys they have to buy their children the following day, Black Friday, and too much footage of, say, second-rate Bieber clone Austin Mahone looking like he has somewhere better to be. One way to fix this distinct lack of fun for adults, however, would be to put scathingly wry comedian Billy Eichner in charge of the whole ordeal–which Funny Or Die has just done.


The newly bearded star of Billy on the Street hosts Billy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade with Katie Couric in the online humor hub’s latest video. With the comforting tone of seasoned parade vet, Couric, to banter with, Eichner mimics the chipper patter of the usual commentators while welcoming balloons and floats more attuned to his particular tastes. “You’re gonna want to make sure your kids are in the room for this, because Maggie Gyllenhaal is coming to town,” he says at one point, welcoming a 26-foot float of the star with whom he is endlessly fascinating.

Elsewhere, there’s a “Mark Ruffalfloat,” which features some of the actor’s characters that are most-beloved by children, including his role in HBO’s AIDS drama, The Normal Heart. To give away anymore floats would be to spoil the video, so just watch for yourself and get ready to watch it again with your family when the nostalgia-novelty rubs off, mid-parade, on Turkey Day.

About the author

Joe Berkowitz is a writer and staff editor at Fast Company. His next book, Away with Words, is available June 13th from Harper Perennial.