It’s Laura again, still not Rusty. This week he’s over at my newsletter for the Awl, Everything Changes (go subscribe to not miss any more of the short fiction he’s rolling out) and I’m over here. Which brings me to:
Emojis, Explained by Real Millennials!
Having a hard time understanding the Millennials in your office and what they mean by a certain emoji?
We’ve got you covered! We asked some real-life Millennials—some of our interns—to decode the real meaning behind their favorite 21st century hieroglyphics. Maybe they’ll find their way into a text of yours or two!
Tamara, 21: This is how you tell someone you’re really sad, like commiserate with someone whose dog just died or something.
Jon, 20: Super sad. God, I wish I had health care.
J: This is a really playful way of telling someone you find attractive that you like them. Super effective for sexting.
T: The eggplant is a way of telling someone you respect that you respect them. It’s like an UrbanDictionary thing. I have a second job and four roommates.
T: This is a way to brag to your friends that you, uh, went to the gym.
J: Like “What’d you get up to last night?” And you hit them with the droplets.
T: Personally, I was here doing search ad campaigns until 9 for no money.
Smiling face with sunglasses
J: This is a super-offensive slur against blind people and you should make sure anyone who texts it to you knows that.
T: For the record I’d love to have health care too.
T: You use this to tell someone you’ll be there soon.
J: No, I’m not sure why your daughter told you it had something to do with flatulence. Just out of curiosity, is her internship paid?
OK hand sign
T: This is a sexual overture.
J: Can’t be interpreted any other way.