Maybe there is a tide in the affairs of men, but I don’t think our lowest Jeb is taking it at its flood. The Bush family’s Charlie Brown has dropped to just 4% nationally, after he went to New Hampshire and apologized to France. “I’m not quitting!” he told CNN, because he heard that’s the kind of thing winners say. He was last seen buying a windsurfer and muttering something about a comeback.
Elsewhere in the GOP clown car, Trump may be the pick of idiot teens and Munchausen-by-reality-TV Moms but according to Philip Bump his days in the lead are over and the outsider vote will check out Carson before eventually settling on either Cruz or more likely Rubio.
Please don’t sue me. pic.twitter.com/lBSzeW16Iv
— jennifer daniel (@jenniferdaniel) November 4, 2015
All the stars and hearts nonsense yesterday kind of buried the news that the only black person in Twitter leadership quit. Former engineering manager Leslie Miley even passed up a severance package so he could speak openly about his dissatisfaction with the company’s diversity efforts, which he did in a blistering Medium post. Matthew Zeitlin covered the investor response in a wonderfully shady Buzzfeed story:
“I had no idea what someone would pay for her hair; I didn’t know black women would pay for extensions and weaves,” he said. After Sacca said this, two black women working at the conference registration desk laughed out loud while everyone else in the mainly white audience awkwardly tittered.
Sacca pays $19 to get his dark auburn mane shorn at Supercuts, although he presumably spends much more on his extensive collection of cowboy shirts.
But these guys are using the phrase “a basket of unicorns” with a totally straight face, so.
I hurt myself today (with food.)
To see if I still feel (hungry.)
— Sage Francis (@SageFrancis) November 4, 2015
“Bees vs. drone” is the most Tabs story ever. The National Geographic Society is cutting about 9% of its staff, according to CEO Gary “Death” Knell. Carles on “Grantlangst.” Here’s Julia Carrie Wong with a #longread on the best election night parties. Well done to Slate for publishing this hilarious parody Slate-pitch. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself. China burned an extra Germany’s worth of coal, lol oops. But cheer up, Good Charlotte is getting back together!
Today I Learned: Jon Stewart is going to make viral videos (?) for HBO. Gmail loves you. The sharing economy is getting weird, with MeatMe. Gloria Steinem is still pretty great. Turkeys totally look like people doin’ it (thanks for that, Gout Magazine). And apparently people ask Mary Karr about David Foster Wallace’s dick.
Well I’m only a quarter of the way through Aaron Gell’s “Friend of the Devil” and I really want to get back to it so that’s all the tabs!
Today’s Graphic Novel: The iTunes Terms and Conditions
Today’s Loss: Parker Higgins, “Mad Generation Loss“
Today’s Song: Good Charlotte, “Screamer“
~But who shall dare / To measure loss and gain in this tab?~