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Today in Tabs: Tyrangiel of Rohan Departs For The Riddermark

Please stop, bear . . . It’s not even food. It doesn’t even taste good.

Today in Tabs: Tyrangiel of Rohan Departs For The Riddermark
[Source photos: Flickr user Joan Campderrós-i-Canas; Eric Isselee and Christian Musat via Shutterstock, Bloomberg Businessweek via Wikipedia]

Michael Bloomberg’s famous bag of cats will be one kitty lighter tomorrow, with Bloomberg Businessweek editor and Chief Discontent Officer Josh Tyrangiel pulling out his B-unit for the last time. Deputy Businessweek editor Ellen Pollock will take over as editor until the business media conglomerate’s intolerable working conditions utterly sap her will to live and she too flees in horror at the waking nightmare her professional life has become.

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Peeple, an app to “rate people you know,” is such an obviously bad idea that making fun of it here just feels pointless. Perhaps the strangest thing is that a totally different Peeple announced funding yesterday too. Everything is a hoax: the London “£500 bed under the stairs was viral marketing for a rental listing website, and the San Diego Union-Tribune investigated the breathalyzer raccoon story and found it didn’t happen. If you believed it you should probably feel dumb. It’s not yet clear if this San Francisco apartment is partly animated? Definitely not a hoax, however, is the bear that ate a kayak in Berg Bay, Alaska. I feel like every day, this newsletter is my attempt to say to the internet: “Please stop, bear… It’s not even food. It doesn’t even taste good.”

Patreon was hacked, possibly because gamergate? Amanda Palmer has not yet ruled out claiming the intrusion as a “thing” and collecting her $36,676.53. The nation was shocked to learn that there were three women who have not yet accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault. Coming soon: Serial, the TV show, about making Serial, the podcast, about investigating a crime or whatever. And I don’t know how I missed this but Alex Cornell wrote the only iPhone 6s review you should read.

According to Mat Honan, self-driving cars are definitely going to happen. I used to hate the idea of self-driving cars, but then I remembered people are terrible and we shouldn’t be trusted to operate anything. Here’s Vijith Assar, outstanding as usual, on growing up with the now-defunct Yahoo Pipes. Gregor Aisch, Wilson Andrews and Josh Keller at the New York Times figured out how much mobile web ads actually cost you in time, bandwidth, and money. Spoiler: the news is not good for Boston.com. And here’s Grendan on how the so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” became a 70-story ultra-luxury condo tower.

Today’s Trailer: The full X-Files trailer is here!

Today’s Song: The Pixies, “Hey

~The tab is out there~

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Today in Tabs is a raccoon that’s too drunk to start your car. Also a hoax. Everything is a hoax. You are a hoax. Look around you: all of that is a hoax. Your children are hoaxes. It’s ok to love them still, but you should know they are not real. This hoax is brought to you by Fast Company, TinyLetter, and ugh, Rusty. If you go, I will surely die.

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