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Live Coverage Of Pope Francis’s Visit To The U.S., Rewritten As An Epic Poem

Live Coverage Of Pope Francis’s Visit To The U.S., Rewritten As An Epic Poem
U.S. President Barack Obama (R) and Pope Francis (L) walk through the colonnade prior to an Oval Office meeting at the White House. [Photo: Alex Wong, Getty Images]

In case you haven’t heard, Pope Francis has arrived in the U.S.–and everybody this side of the Atlantic is aggressively freaking out.

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The Pontifex’s itinerary in America has him in D.C. today, where he visited President Obama and addressed the public from the White House. Pope Francis broadened his progressive streak by siding with the government’s steps toward fighting climate change, stating, “I find it encouraging that you are proposing an initiative for reducing air pollution. Accepting the urgency, it seems clear to me also that climate change is a problem which can no longer be left to a future generation. When it comes to the care of our common home, we are living at a critical moment of history.”

First, let us say we totally get the breathless, moment-by-moment coverage of his Holiness’ every utterance–he’s the people’s Pope! He’s blessin’ the U.S.! But can we, and by “we” I mean the media, take it down a notch or two–or 10? The live coverage of the pope’s visit has been superfluous to the point of flowery verse and it warrants, well, a poem. And so, with that in mind, we’d like to present just that: a poem we’re calling “Pope Party in the U.S.A.,” constructed using real phrases from a couple of real live blogs:

It is just before 7:15
Sun is just rising in Washington, DC.
It’s set to be a beautiful day
High of 77 degrees.

A marching band passes
In full revolutionary regalia
A jaunty tune plays on the flute
It is Yankee Doodle.

Pope Francis greets throngs of onlookers
Before departing for the White House
Shaking hands and kissing heads
Crowd getting a little raucous.

The pope and president shake hands
And sit side-by-side
A choir sings

Lots of smiles in the bright September sunshine.

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