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Today in Tabs: A Big Night For Ham

I just don’t dig on swine, that’s all.

Today in Tabs: A Big Night For Ham
Jon Hamm as Don Draper in Mad Men, Buying the world a Coke. [Photo: courtesy of AMC]

Let’s get the easy one out of the way: Jon Hamm is finally on the Emmy scoreboard at 1 for 16 after winning his finale-season pity statuette for “Mad Men.”

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But as Hamm humped his way onstage in Los Angeles, a darker ham-humping story was breaking in the U.K., where the Daily Mail published an excerpt from a forthcoming unauthorized biography of prime minister and sometime Kermit David Cameron that alleges he “inserted a private part of his anatomy into [a dead pig]’s mouth.” Cameron’s jilted Tory rival Michael Ashcroft claims this other white meet-cute was part of an initiation into Oxford dining and poor-hating club the Piers Gaveston Society. According to Wikipedia, Hugh Grant also belonged to the Piers Gaveston, which may have begun his habit of having sex with literally everything.

This scurrilous allegation, true or not, is clearly straight from the Lyndon Johnson / Hunter Thompson playbook, and a likely-successful effort by one disgruntled Tory to take down another, using the Daily Mail no less, but that didn’t stop Twitter from enjoying the hell out of it. It reminded many of the infamous first episode of “Black Mirror,” which in hindsight gives humanity far too much credit, and has already spawned at least one “Star Trek” themed fanfic: “Swine’s Arrow“. “This is it: satire is dead,” declared VICE’s Joel Golby, staring down the snout of the story VICE was created to cover, but maybe also the end of any reason for VICE to exist. Finally, if we may climb out of the sty, Rob Fahey wrote a thoughtful analysis of how how hazing rituals function in the networks of British power, and social networks generally, and amidst all the fun & jokes, everyone forgot that the British military had just threatened a coup if Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn ever became P.M. Soo-ee!

From Hamm, to ham, to Hamlet: Slate asks “Is Hamlet Fat?” If so, he may want to consult Aaron Bleyaert’s excellent “How To Lose Weight in 4 Easy Steps.”

Dreamforce is terrible. A hacked XCode build infected dozens of iOS apps. “‘You represent so much. You represent the future. You represent something very important.’ A low keening, full of chaos and blood, could be heard in the distance.” L.A. hasn’t seen fangs like these since “Angel” was cancelled. Cliché-censoring camera: I need this in the form of a keyboard, please. The broken U.S. healthcare system allows cynical drug profiteering by a literal monster in human form named Martin Shkreli.

It Good!: Lisa Hanawalt talks to Kate Beaton. Fibonacci Cutting Board. Blackalicious video for “The Blowup” featuring the Fantastic Mr. Fox:

Today’s Song: The new Lana Del Rey album, “Honeymoon” is out! Here’s Molly Lambert’s review, and here’s “Music To Watch Boys To

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~Hey pig, piggy, pig, pig, pig. All of my tabs came true.~

Good lord that was long. Today in Tabs is brought to you, normally at decreased length, by Fast Company and email. If you have a friend who is confused by your pig jokes today, feel free to forward this! If you haven’t yet, subscribe here! I promise you will only occasionally regret it.

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